Keeping up With the Kellys

Seasons

2012-01-25T13:17:00.000-08:00

Change is coming at our house. Nothing major. We're not moving, we're hoping no one else is dying, school is in session, we're going to the same church, kids are involved in the same things and mostly (as a kid can be in late January) healthy. And yet...

It feels as though spring might by springing.

Not in the literal sense. I've been along time fan of Nichole Nordeman, and she has a song called Every Season that talks about the seasons we go through in life and as believers. I first heard the song when I was a junior in high school and it has stayed with me since. A reminder that no matter what we are walking through it is but temporary and something else is on it's way.

After almost a year of what has felt like winter, it feels as though the sun is starting to burst forth it's light and tips of green are springing from the frost bitten dirt. Instead of burying ourselves in protective coats we're throwing on flip flops and flinging open the windows.

The Lord is making himself known and felt in our home again. Not that he ceased to while we were in our winter season, but it felt a bit more as grasping at straws. Even though I know and trust we were in His hand and will the whole time, it felt as though we were surviving on bread crumbs, spiritual nuggets and insights that would occasionally pass through the haze into our hearts.

Now it feels as though we're in sort of a spiritual awakening again. Every promise a new revelation and reminder, each realization of neglected sin grieved over, acts of service bringing joy, and the Word constantly being delighted and amazed over.

I'm grateful for the Lord making His presence KNOWN and FELT once more, and for cleaning house in what's been neglected while we grieved. Not that we don't still have hard times and days, but instead of questioning the Lord's promises and intentions we're resting in them amidst confusion and trusting in the hope we have.

Spring has Sprung.

11 months (and a week +)

2012-01-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a bit of a tumultuous month with baby girl. Not to mention it's been raining practically non stop here so I've been unable to do her 11 month pictures which has further disrupted my rhythm in writing this. Oh well.

I feel a little bit like I have a toddler over night. She's very explorative (I won't go so far as to say she's into everything, because compared to the boys her curiosity is mild), has little interest in being held unless she's tired and jabbers all the time. Those combined makes dinners out, being around groups of people with our children, and in general going places or having more than a few people over difficult. Doable, but not exactly enjoyable. Just everyday life with a toddler.

Crawling. Like all over the house, can't leaver her unattended unless it's in a closed off room that's been baby proofed type of crawling.
Pulling herself up. She's still particular about this one and will only do it on certain height objects she feels very stable on.
Double ear infection that was causing eye drainage and took two rounds of antibiotics to kick. Not fun, for her or me.
Stopped nursing. I felt like I drug it out as long as possible and we were both just over it. She didn't seem to miss it a bit.
Eats everything we eat
Is chunking up. When at the doctors they weighed her and she was up 3 pounds from her 9 month visit!
This has been an ongoing thing but something I'm just now remembering to note on, the girl loves her some accessories. She is always checking out and feeling others and hers shoes, rings, necklaces, earrings etc. It's one of the first thing she notices and goes for.
She talks ALL the time. If the boys are talking a lot at dinner she'll raise her voice to be heard and noticed.
She kicks her feet really hard when she's excited. The harder she kicks, the more excited she is. She reacts this way to favored foods as well.
She's started to show an interest in TV. We did a pizza and movie family night and watched Dolphin Tale (so good BTW!) and she kept kicking her feet and yelling at the screen and laughing. It was so cute.
One of her favorite parts of the day is when he brothers get home from school. She is so excited to see them and loves to be on the ground playing with them.
She hugs me. She'll put her arms around my neck and squeeze.
Gives lots of kisses on cue, sometimes without being prompted. Very lovable.
Her favorite toys are hot wheels cars and her little push car. She also likes her talking tea set and purse
She is very intuitive with clothing. I won't have put anything on her yet and get ready to put on a pair of pants and she lifts her leg up for it. Even if I go to put a shirt on first she'll hold her arm out, and with cardigans and jackets she hold her arm straight out in anticipation. The boys never did anything like that until closer to two years. I swear she already knows her clothing items and how to get dressed.
If I ask her which pair of shoes and hold out one of each, she chooses. And usually the one I would pick
Laughs when others laugh
Crinkles her nose when she laughs

I'm not really loving the lack of snuggles more independence has brought me, but I know that phase will come back. It makes it easier that I get to see her fun personality coming out!

Right you are

2012-01-04T05:47:00.000-08:00

Great quote form Jack this morning:

Mom: Jack, don't step there, you're sister made a big mess. (look under his chair) I guess someone else made a big mess too, why did you do that? You're not a baby like you sister?

Jack: Mom, I'm just a boy.

Tis the Season

2011-12-23T18:24:00.000-08:00

To be jolly.

Except we're not.

In all honesty, the last week has really sucked and been hard. The absence of Nancy right now is palpable.

This time last year was the beginning of the end. And we knew. She called to tell us that she wasn't going to be able to come down for Christmas as she was feeling too bad. And while it wasn't beyond my mother in law to say something like that to make sure she was really wanted, she never would have missed such a memory filled time with her grandchildren. Ever. Unless something was really wrong. And it was. We knew.

So we're questioning (should we have gone up to STL for Christmas even though I was 8 months pregnant, should we have confronted her sooner, should we have stayed in STL longer when we went up after EvaKate was born.....), and doubting, missing and praying.

Tomorrow is her birthday. We'll be having german chocolate cake for Christmas as it was always around this time of year. It was her favorite, I always made it for her. New Years is their anniversary. She never doubted moving up their wedding date so they could be married sooner, even if it was on an odd day.

It's just going to be our little family this year. No one's coming to visit. Not for lack of invites, just...different priorities.

But we're trying to put on our game face. It's time to impress upon the kids the reason why we celebrate, and it's EvaKate's first Christmas. I HATE that so many of her firsts are intertwined with sorrow.

We're also waiting on what could potentially be more bad news for another immediate family member. I think if I hear the word cancer one more time in the next year I'm going to vomit.

So even though when we look around right now all we see is pain, and suffering and sadness, it makes it that much bigger of a deal that Christ CHOSE to walk into this. Not only did He choose it, but He did so with a rescue plan. So that even though all we see is broken we have the hope that it won't always be. We have hope. Come, Jesus!

10 months

2011-12-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

10 months. 2 from being 1. Every time I start to get upset about how fast it's going by and wanting to slow it down, I just have to hang out with her and then I'm good. It's so much fun to see her little personality coming out! And as squirmy as she is, it's also a really fun age. Here are some of the highlights:

She's crawling. Still not with the most grace, but she'll get up on all fours and interchanging between that position and army crawling she gets where she wants
She's making noises that sounds more and more like words. Like Jack, Josh, more and mama. She's got dada and daddy down. She jabbers all the time.
She is still eating us out of house and home. She loves food. It's so funny to watch her get so excited about it, and then after each bite watch her wave her arms around and smile.
She loves to point, and also stick her hands up in the air with both index fingers up like she's saying "I'm number 1!"
If you ask her for a kiss, she'll give you kisses. Mind you it's open mouth, but they're super sweet (and slobbery)!
She chews on anything she can get
She loves baths and can now sit in the bathtub on her own. She's even ok with the water going over her head and on her face.

She's just so interactive! Christmas is going to be a blast with her and she's already itching to get to all the presents!

Lost tooth

2011-12-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

So I think with all the craziness of travels I didn't update that Josh lost his first tooth. Literally.

The week before Thanksgiving he was at school and I guess he was sliding down a slide and (his story coming into play now) at the bottom some kid punched him in the mouth and then kicked him in the leg. When the kid punched him his tooth came out, and his mouth was bleeding. With all the blood Josh and the teacher forgot to look for his first lost tooth.

I think it's a bit more likely that Josh slid into the kid and some sort of accidental hitting took place, but who knows, he is a 6 year old boy who plays like one and his lip was swollen and slightly cut.

When I got called (since when you go to the clinic your mom gets called) and they told me his tooth was lost, I won't lie I wanted to cry a bit. This is my firstborns first lost tooth and you're telling me you lost it? Well let's go find it!!! And really, if I would have had EK and Jack tired and in the car, we probably would have been out on the playground searching through mulch. Because it's a big freaking deal people! For him and for me.

Thankfully not pushing Santa gives me a pass with the tooth fairy. My kids too smart and assumed I was she. While I neither confirmed or denied his theory, I didn't really have to. But I love that he has those deduction skills. So even though he didn't have a tooth to put in it he got out the tooth pillow (with a little pocket in it and everything) my grandma had made for him years ago (I hope that I plan that well before my death, what a gift to those mourning your loss, so many sweet reminders!) and put it by his pillow. He woke up in the morning with a $5 bill. First lost tooth bonus. Plus it was kind of a traumatic event. It will only be $1 going forward, maybe $.50 if Jack start overlapping him.

He's been having some really good weeks at school too. Seems like he has finally hit his stride. In December. Better late than never!

He also had (in my mind) a very big first this week. He was finally allowed to watch the first Harry Potter. He loves it, and I love that he loves it. He keeps asking me a ton of questions trying to figure out all the mysteries. I love his thirst for understanding. I also love getting to explain to him all the parallels to how Harry is like Jesus and Voldemort is like Satan. What a gift that every story echoes that of our Savior and gives us so many opportunities to give examples of and see different interpretations of what His love for us looks like!

To make up for my oldests streak of awesomeness, Jack has been being a pill. There's always one kid (if not two) that are in a phase it seems like. Jack has just been being super whiny and slow (the kid takes forever to do anything that involves movement) and unwilling to try to do most things by himself. I think he's going through a growth spurt and being his first year of preschool constantly fighting something off which would explain most of it, but I'm kind of ready for it to be over.

EvaKate is doing great, getting more teeth in, but I will be updating more on her next week as she turns (gulp) 10 months. They just grow up too darn fast!

"Vacation"

2011-11-29T07:11:00.000-08:00

We just got back from our "vacation" to STL for Thanksgiving.

I say "vacation" because even though it's supposed to be one, every time we go to STL we always end up, sick (one or all of us, this time only Chris was spared), dealing with major family drama, not getting to do everything we wanted and coming home feeling like we need a vacation from our vacation.

This trip was no exception.

We are exhausted and trying to hit the ground running as usual. And also trying to lay down some rules for when we go back next time.

I think for me one of the most frustrating things about this trip was I let myself be manipulated and guilt tripped into doing things I didn't even want to do. I need to stand firm in what I want and what I want to make a priority no matter what any one else says or does. I have no one to blame for the regret other than myself.

This was especially hard since my two very best friends were in town and I only got a couple hours with each of them.

Plus it rained pretty much the ENTIRE time we were there. Canceling our plans to get pictures done.

That said...we did get some good family time. I got to see both my grandparents, and Chris got to see his grandparents (moms side) it was fun to watch all of them with EvaKate and make sure we had plenty of pictures. We also got to do a couple fun activities with Chris's side, which includes 6 kids 6 and under. It's crazy, but fun. We always joke we are a walking birth control add when we go out together.

I think for us one of the biggest blessings we got, somewhat unexpectedly was more time to grieve. Being separated from so many of the memories and spots sometimes makes it a little harder to grieve in quite the same way we would if we were home. I don't think either of us went up there expecting to get more of that or even realizing that we still have a lot more to go, it just kind of hit us.

Like on Sunday, we went to the church I grew up in, we were married in, and had Nancy's service in. We ended up on one of the front rows and after standing there for a few minutes it hit me the last time I had been there was staring at a casket. And then the tears came. About that time one of the songs played at her funeral came on as well. And then there was a flood, and sobs. But I had my husband on one side of me and my sister in law on the other, and we all just got to stand there for a moment, arms wrapped around one another, crying. United on this same crazy journey. We also had multiple people come up to us and tell us they were praying for our family this season. Such a blessing to know you are loved hundreds of miles away!

On Thanksgiving we all went out to the cemetery. I think most everyone else had been before, but this was our first time back since the funeral. Again, standing in the exact same spot where just months before we saw a casket being lowered just overwhelmed us with emotion. But it was good. It was nice to just have a moment to stand there and remember what was, and what has been lost and miss it, want it back, and then to trust Him and His plan. The boys said bye to GaGa as we left.

In some strange way I think grieving more freed us up a bit to be more open to the new woman. I know that phrasing sounds weird, but well...I think it's the best I can do. To know everyone is in this hard place of still hurting and yet needing to move forward and we are all doing it in different ways. Someone new doesn't mean the old is not missed or longed for. It's a hard and awkward journey we have to travel as a family. I pray that the Lord is going to do a great thing in the midst of it.

So that was our trip home. Some rules for next time: Go when there isn't a holiday. See a Cardinals game. Stay somewhere else. Do what we want to do, no matter what! Pour into those who pour into us. Eat more vegetables. Take our kids to the City Museum and Arch. Eat toasted ravioli and Ted Drewe's.

Now I'm off to fold the mounds of laundry resulting from the insanity.

9 months

2011-11-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

Wow. In the last month the girl has decided to get busy! She's growing so much and acting like her own little person now. Which is super fun to watch.

This months she is:

Refusing baby purees and preferring all table food. And even if she's just eating, if she sees us eating she yells at us until we give her some
Cheerios are consuming my life, and hers
She's a messy eater now. I thought that was just a boy thing :(
She army crawls when she wants something, but is pretty chill about crawling. As am I!
She claps
She waves hi and bye
She says Daddy and dada, and will reach for him. This action was previously reserved just for me, but now he gets preferred treatment as well
She'll stand up holding something for a bit.
Holding her is like trying to hold a monkey, she is everywhere.
Loves to grab EVERYTHING, and then place it directly in her mouth
Jabbers all the time now and says little words that sound like mama and bubba (brother)
Squeals with delight when seeing her brothers come home from school or in the morning
Loves PB&J
She throw little fits or gets an attitude when told no or not getting her way
Is the size of a 6 month old, 10th percentile in weight and 25 percentile in height
Weighs 15 pounds and 9 ounces

Tough Stuff

2011-10-31T12:44:00.001-07:00

It was a hard weekend for our family.

In a lot of ways I feel we are entering a new season where everything is unknown. We usually experience this about every 3 years just in the form of moving. Now we are living in the same spot but everything around us seems to be changing.

I think I would rather move.

This was Chris's last Sunday leading worship at the church plant we've been involved with. It was a decision that was a long time in the making and one that will honestly let us all breathe a sigh of relief for awhile.

While I'll miss seeing him get to play, and at times I know he'll miss it as well we have just been so overwhelmed in the last year. When the gig first started we had two preschool age kids and a fully functioning complete family. Obviously all of that has changed in the last year.

Josh is in school which is a very different schedule than the more laid back easy going preschool life. I have limited time with him and it's filled with homework and reading, or rushing out to baseball practice, games or small group.

We also added a child and lost Chris's mom, both of which have had major impacts in their own way.

And not to brag, but that husband of mine...he's kind of a big deal, closing deals and chatting with VP's. He has a lot of responsibility at work and puts in 50-60 hours each week. And he rocks it out. The big bosses adore him and want him to play golf with them. But that's a lot of work, and pressure and a lot for his brain to keep up with.

Then to try to pick out songs, practice, talk to and meet with all the people interested in playing, get the songs to the tech people and spend half of his Sundays at church (as well as show up at small group and help coach baseball)...it was just too much. There was no way he could keep up. And I was trying to manage everything at home and pick up the slack while he was trying to keep up. Which left both of us exhausted and drained and with little to no time for each other, and that only works for so long.

So that door is closed with quite a bit of peace and answer to long prayed prayers that went along with it.

Chris's dad also came down this weekend. With a new "friend". I still don't even really have words other than to just say it was hard. Mainly because every bit of it was a reminder of what no longer is. Our family won't ever be the same. And we miss her horribly.

I have no idea what is in store for the typically dependable side of the family. I know there are a lot more conversations and prayer that's taking place both between Chris and I and in general.

I know God has a plan for us. I repeat that to myself a lot. I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US. I know He is loving and merciful and good and is doing a great work. But right now I feel like we are running off the memory and the promise of that then the current state of feeling. And we're all weary and ready to see His face and a glimpse of his plan.

Growing

2011-10-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

So I know I only usually update every months for EvaKate, but the last couple weeks have been filled with so many firsts.

It seems like in the last week + she has become her own little person. Our two front teeth have officially cut through, we are crawling, and we say dada to our daddy, and something that sounds like bubba to our brothers.

She also just looks bigger, like she overnight shot up a couple of inches.

Not to mention her personality is bursting forth. She laughs, oh how she laughs! She has a wonderful laugh that she uses quite liberally on all of her favorite people. She loves to play games, especially peek a boo, or daddies silly version of it. She tries to grab the spoon from me when I am feeding her, and yells at me to feed her, especially MY food. The girl is so ready for big girl food. She laughs at me when I tell her no.

This girl of ours is a constant reminder of God's mercy and blessing in our lives and she has bewitched us all with her soft sweetness.

8 months

2011-10-17T07:10:00.001-07:00

I feel like we have had a lot of firsts this month! So here is the rundown:

Her personality is really coming out. She laughs a lot, and she laughs when you tell her no...like she knows exactly what she's doing
She waves hi and bye
Not only does she wave but she does it just with us telling her to "say hi" no motions included. By verbal command.
She says "dada" to him. Not regularly or all the time, you can tell she's still figuring it out, but she says it.
She only says "mama" now when she cries.
She had her first major sickness (just a bad cold) which resulted in her first
Double ear infection, which she handled like a champ
Has started eating actual solids. Puffs, cheerios, cooked peas. The girl is ready for more serious food. She is constantly trying to grab mine out of my mouth!
She loves swinging at the park and laughs when she is pushed higher
She's started having separation anxiety at church. If you give her food she usually calms down. Eventually. It's one of the only times I've seen her cry that hard.
She adores her brothers and squeals with delight at them and rolls over to play with them.
She still loves to just roll around the floor.
Her favorite toy is a rattle
She loves her daddy. It's been really sweet to watch them the last month as they've gotten really close. She gets so excited when he comes home.

I think that's the gist of it. This is such a fun age. She's very interactive and happy. It is getting a bit harder to go out with her since she always wants to be moving, or eating, which makes it quite hard for me to eat. But it's a small setback compared to how much fun she is the rest of the time! Love that baby girl so much!!!

Boys

2011-10-17T06:15:00.001-07:00

Here is a glimpse of where the boys are at since they are less frequently updated on.

Josh: He is getting ready to play in his second baseball tournament of where his team is ranked first. He's been playing great, getting outs, catching the ball, covering the bases, backing people up, and he hit at least a single off coach pitch every single time he's up to bat.

School is still hit and miss. While he's really smart, he gets bored easily and tries to skate by when he can instead of doing his best. He will have a great week and then turn around and have a really bad week behavior wise. We can't seem to figure out what makes the difference other than he likes things very structured and it throws him off when that is out of whack. We are just trying to stay consistent.

He is very witty, which in general is a good thing, but when it comes to snippy come backs to his mom, dad or brother...not so good. When he's not using it in a derogatory way he is hilarious.

The kid is friends with EVERYONE. Everywhere we go he always knows someone or is friend with someone before we leave. I love his outgoing and friendly nature.

He is so sweet and gentle with his sister. He is always telling her how pretty she is, saying hi to her and playing with her when she gets up from naps and when he gets home. He is very patient and loving with her. I pray that someday he will treat his wife in some of the same ways.

Jack: It's been interesting to watch him change in the last month or so since starting preschool. While he still has more shy tendencies, he is getting bolder and bolder. Especially when I'm not around. He has lots of friends at school and even has almost gotten in to trouble at school.

He is very active right now, often literally running laps inside the house or jumping off the furniture doing "back flips". He is very ready to play baseball like his big brother but not quite old enough. However he loves to hang out with the big baseball boys and will often stand by the dugout and chat with his brother or sit by him during snack.

Jack is sweet and kind and funny. Both the boys inherited their fathers sense of humor. Jack is very aware of other peoples feelings and wants to try to help whenever possible. He is super sweet to his sister as well. He calls her EvaKatie buggie.

Their favorite thing to do right now is to go to our favorite park and take the walking trail. From there they love to go in the forest and find sticks to be guns, light savers, or swords....depending on if they are army guys, Jedi's, or kings of Narnia. I love their imaginations and how they are already natural warriors, wanting to protect and defeat the bad guys.

They are crazy, busy, messy, destructive and wild. But I love those boys. And I love that they will either outgrow those things or those attributes are what will make them great men of God. So I'm trying to enjoy seeing fingerprints all over my white doors and enjoy the reminder of their presence instead of getting frustrated I have something else to clean.

"E" Day

2011-09-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

While Jack is a preschool superstar with two green weeks in a row, our more outgoing, talkative and squirmy oldest has a bit more difficulty having good days. Especially putting together a run of them.

This week Josh had 4 "E" days! E stands for excellent. This is a really big deal for him. We wanted to make sure he knew how big a deal this was and to go above and beyond in praising him. So the boys got to have a weekend of fun.

Saturday Josh had a game in the morning, in the afternoon we headed over to Suwanee Days where they got fair food and lots of inflatable fun. Then we took them out to Panera (one of their favorites) and they got chocolate chip cookies. Sunday we took them to see their first ever 3D movie, The Lion King along with popcorn, coke and m&m's. Josh also got to rent a video game for Wii for the weekend.

Hopefully it inspires him to be extra diligent about his behavior. And if not, at least our bank account will get a break next weekend :)

7 months

2011-09-19T09:11:00.001-07:00

Seven Months as of Thursday. I was in an accident last week so we are still trying to get back on schedule after that day of fun and now adding almost daily chiropractor visits to the schedule, so we're a bit behind again.

No doctor check ups so I'm not sure about height and weight, although I know she seems long and tiny to me. I'm also very pleased that she is FINALLY fitting into all the cute shoes we bought her before she was born. We bought her size 1 shoes, because it's practically impossible to find size 0 shoes, and the boys always had bigger feet. Well at 7 months (and thankfully when the weather is cooling down a bit) all her cute boots and flats are fitting. The girl is just petite all around. Her 3-6 month pants are a bit big on her.

Although she is in such a fun age (all be it the squirmy it's like holding a monkey phase) with her jabbering and interacting, and I cannot wait to see more of her personality come out part of me wants to keep her a tiny baby forever.

She is just so sweet. She smiles at everyone and is always happy. Even though she likes to move she will still lay her head on me and snuggle up, often times even falling asleep on me. I wish I could freeze the look she give me as well. She just looks up at me with those beautiful dark eyes with such adoration. She seems to think I'm it. Even though she adores her daddy and loves hanging with him, if I walk away she's looking around for me.

I know someday we will hit a difficult phase. Chris thinks I'm being dramatic, but I know it's just part of mother-daughter relationships. I know I'll have a door slammed on me at some point and our relationship will be strained. I'm trying to freeze the sweet look of adoration she gives me in my head for that moment. Remembering that even then when she's proclaiming her dislike for me, she needs me, and even if she won't say it, in some way she still adores me and needs me to be her mom. Someone to guide her and protect her and love her despite the yelling and moodiness.

On to the milestones.

We have two teeth that should be busting out at any point. Come on teeth!
We jabber. And squeal with excitement. Particularly at her three favorite boys (brothers and dad)
She has now said "mama" and "dada" in solicited form instead of a string of jabbering. Very close to calling for us.
She's started to get very ticklish
We do a slight army crawl when we get desperate
She really likes food, and is constantly trying to grab mine whenever I am holding her
She's learned to drink from a sippy, but just the big kid kind she sees brother drinking from
The closest she gets to throwing a fit occurs when she is put into her car seat. She just kind of whines for a minute. I think this is mainly because we practically live in the car. I kind of resent it as well.
The girl loves cords. She loves to roll to them. Speaker cords, lamp cords, Wii cords...anything she can get to.

I think that's the gist of the new stuff. Snuggly and sweet EvaKate.

School Drama

2011-09-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

He survived the week. Not only did he survive, he did great.

I'm learning to not put expectations or assumptions on my children. I totally thought Jack was going to have a rough week and it was going to be a traumatic transition for him. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was SO ready.

He had a green week all three days. While some families may think "yeah, of course, what else is there?" We haven't gotten to see too many of those with our oldest (whose kinesthetic learning tendencies and very strong verbal skills aren't always recognized as that by the school system), and we think those green stickers are a pretty big deal.

This has however made for some interesting dynamics between the boys. Jack always asks Josh what he got when he gets in the car, and enjoys telling Josh he got a green day and "it's not that hard, you just have to try your best." Needless to say my oldest does not take very well to having his little brother out do him, let alone telling him it's "easy."

While Jack has been doing wonderfully it's been a really hard week for me. I keep going back and forth between being upset I'm one step closer to an empty house and feeling overwhelmed wondering how the heck I'm going to survive until they are out of the house.

As much as I had hoped having Jack in preschool would make me have a ton of time, so far it's done the opposite. I have to drop Josh off at 8, come home and get Jack and myself ready, drop him off at 9:20, feed EvaKate, run any errands, or go to bible study or exercise, get myself and EvaKate fed again, pick Jack up at 1:20 come home and try to let my sleep deprived daughter get about 40 minutes of sleep before throwing her in the car to go pick up my oldest. So far my daughter is not getting enough sleep and I feel like I have less time. We'll see how the next week or so progresses, but we may have to make some changes.

We've also been really struggling with what to do about Josh. The kid is a talker. Shocking I know. He also is very smart and very active, all of which combined together doesn't thrive so well in the public school system.

Getting "E" days are a rarity, and more often we are getting notes sent home about how he's talking, reading books during social studies, not sitting still, etc. Often he'll even get in trouble for talking at lunch. Seriously? As a mom I need to support the school and it's rules and for the most part I understand them. But it's really hard when I don't feel like what Josh did was bad or wrong but simply them enforcing crowd control. There are no easy options. Homeschool isn't a perfect fix by any means and honestly is not an area where I'm very gifted in. Chris knows the downsides to homeschooling and I know the downsides to public school. And we don't even see the point in paying thousands upon thousands of dollars for our kid to go to a private school and have the same issues.

We've literally tried every disciplinary and reward tactic we know, we've talked to professionals (I love having a childhood counselor as a friend!) and taken their advice, all without much luck. The common theme: consistency and perseverance. But that is really hard, and defeating. We are doing the best we know how and trying to balance encouragement and praise in with the discipline. I feel inadequate and am having my first experience of really having to fully trust Christ with my children and their hearts. I can't make Josh obey, or want to obey. He has to want to and the Holy Spirit will have to help him.

Parenthood sure increases your prayer life!

Day In Review

2011-09-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

He survived. I survived. My daughter is too quiet.

He did wonderfully. His teacher said he was great and she is really looking forward to having him in class.

Of course he did. He is the epitome of kindness.

We called daddy to tell him how we did. Jack said "I tried my best". He did too, he even told us he told the teacher yes ma'am.

I'm pretty sure my kid just aged a year in one day.

My heart feels worn down by all the letting go I'm having to do that I'm not ready for.

First day of Preschool

2011-09-06T07:22:00.001-07:00

My baby boy just headed out the door for preschool. My shy, reserved (unless his brother is around) little man just walked straight into preschool like such a big boy. What a champ.

I'm so proud of him, I know it's such a big step for him, doing something on his own.

Me on the other hand, I'm a bit of a mess.

I thought after the first one leaving for school it would get easier. However each one that leaves is a reminder of how much closer I am to having an empty house and how quickly parenthood and these precious years are slipping by.

Homeschooling seems like a really good option today.

Hope he has a better day than I am!

6 months

2011-08-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well not only have we been a bit pre-occupied with funerals and traveling arrangements, I've been delaying writing this. I just don't want to have to think about the fact that her first year is already halfway over. It goes by way too fast. Thankfully she's started doing some ridiculously cute things to make it a little easier. So here is where she's at:

She is just under 26 inches and is 53% in height
Only 41% in her head circumference. Still shocking to me after the boys averaging 90% each visit
14 pounds and 3 oz, putting her in the 15% of weight. Apparently her activeness and my healthy eating attempts is not lending itself to cute baby rolls.
She will say "mama" and "dada" not necessarily to us, just babbling. But she says it none the less. And we affirm it like crazy!
She can get anything she wants. Between rolling everywhere and being able to turn herself in circles she's pretty much fully mobile. Thankfully she's pretty chill so doesn't go after every little thing on the floor. Never the less the legos are about to be banned to the boys bedroom.
She can sit up. Not very steady and will still forget what she's doing and just leans back, but with a boppy she's good. She gets bored with it though because her aforementioned mobility is much more rewarding than sitting.
One of my favorite things she does is wrap her arms around me when I pick her up and kind of bury her face into my hair and neck. It's her version of snuggling I think.
Nursing is interesting these days because she wants to check out everything that is going on. And she forgets the food is not portable, despite her attempts at making it so.
She loves food and will eat the equivalent of two baby food jars at each feeding and she's eating solids twice a day. That 4 jars of baby food in one day. Good thing I can make that stuff myself. And our grocery store runs really good specials on it. ($.41 per jar of organic baby food! I can't make it for that!)
She refuses anything green unless it's mixed with fruit. No matter how hungry she is.
She's so easy going and has slid right into the hectic school schedule. She'll even let me get her up and put her in the car in the morning without feeding her until we get back home! She also naps just about whenever.
She grabs everything. If I'm holding her at dinner I have to hold her an arms length away or else she knows to grab the placemat the pull the food and drink towards her. She also will grab my earrings and hair but somehow seems to know to be gentle with both.
She grins when daddy comes home.
She "talks" to you when you're talking to her.
She adores her brothers and laughs for them
She loves baths and kick like crazy usually covering me and the rest of the bathroom
Some nights she tries to stay awake a little longer just to get some time with mommy and daddy just by herself (which we are typically thrilled to indulge). Even if I just lay her in her crib wide awake though she'll just fall asleep on her own, not a peep.
She got shots today, (I know, I changed my mind, mainly because our doc is so incredible, it's hard work being a parent and making tough decision. No ones got it all right or figured out.) the boys both would always look at me with the "why did you do this to me" look and then scream at me. She barely cried, and it wasn't screaming. Not much of a look either. She's SO good.

So that's where we're at. I'm sure at some point in her life it will be evident to me that she is a sinful imperfect being just like all of us. However right now she still just seems so perfect. I would be thrilled to do nothing more in a day than just play and snuggle with her. I'm excited about getting some more of that when Jack starts school soon. It's hard to get much of that time with the boys around. She's the most easy going so she's usually the one who gets the least attention. Those crazy boys!

I was remembering the other day what we went through getting pregnant with her and how much she was prayed for and over in my belly. She is such a gift and blessing and I am so grateful for my little princess!

Tough Stuff

2011-08-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

My poor daughter. So much of the first year of her life and her milestones are intertwined with bad news, death and mourning.

EvaKate is 6 months old today. And the post for that will have to wait until another day.

Today is a hard day. We've gotten news that Chris's grandpa (Arnold's dad) has been sent home given a couple days to live at best.

There has just been way too much death.

Josh got sent home with a project where he has to include 5-7 items that create strong memories for him. Between this and cleaning out a closet I have had several reminders of the loss our families have encountered in the last year and a half.

A picture of my grandpa looking all dapper in his pink tie at our wedding, a card for Josh's 1st birthday from Nancy calling him her "Joshy Buddy Rascal", a container of English bath soaps my grandma always had in her bathrooms that she had given me...it's just all been a lot.

One of the hardest parts was having Josh pick out things that induce strong memories (mainly pictures) and him including one of Nancy's funeral. I hate that my kid strongly remembers death and loss at age 6. How do you help a 6 year old process grief when you are still so new to it yourself?

Our family could use some prayer. We could use a bit of an emotional break, and some joy. More than anything though we need the Lord's presence and the peace, comfort and wisdom only He can bestow.

Mama

2011-08-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Well it's official, EvaKate said her first word today! And after two boys who both said dada first, I am very proud to announce that my daughters first word was mama.

Mind you she usually only does it when she's fussing, and I'm not sure she connects that it's me she's calling just yet (although she does seem to associate it with me) she has said it, repeatedly. Throughout the day. So. it. counts.

I took a meal (putting it lightly, having been a first time mom and enjoying cooking I usually bring more like a meal, a couple lunches, breakfast and snack...it's one of the ways I serve) to a friend today who is doing mommyhood for the first time. That and a post I saw about what you would tell your pregnant self had me thinking a bit...what advice would I give?

Where to begin would be the better question. At 21 I barely knew myself let alone how to be responsible for another human being. I was the first of my friends by at least 3 years to have kids as well. No one, and I mean no one on my radar had children in the past 20 years, or ever. Even then the internet was not like what it is now where I would have had some sort of online information source on how to do it all.

I remember one of my best friends moms (who is one of the wisest women I know and adore, and wish I could be mentored by except for that whole other state business) telling me life would never be the same. I remember getting in the car after hearing that and telling Chris I didn't think that was true and I didn't want parenthood to totally change us and who we are. Someone should have smacked that proud naive girl upside the head.

All that said, I think I would have told myself that it will be the hardest most selfless thing you will ever do. But it is so worth it. Sometimes you won't think so, you'll feel like you're failing and you can't do it. You can't. Not without God. And some days will be survived by his grace alone. And it does take a village, at least one supporting you in the most difficult job ever. Find a village, and plug in. You need people, who have been there, who are there, who can tell you you'll make it, and so will your child, someone who you can escape with for a few hours. Before you know it the days of exhaustion will diminish and you'll see then end in sight. And then you will want it all back. Drink it in. Take lots of mental pictures. Snuggle every chance you get. Say yes more than you say no, or wait a minute. Because motherhood is the hardest most selfless thing you will ever have to do. You love something with all of your being, pour all of your thoughts, focus and energy into growing something and then you have to let it go. Did I mention you needed God?

That's what I would say. And why I'm extra sentimental about that sweet gummy mouth being able to say "mama" today and even more excited that I'm the one she's talking to.

First Grade

2011-08-06T13:57:00.001-07:00

Well this past week has been our last week of summer.

As typical it's bittersweet. I'll be honest...I am so. ready. for him to go back to school. The talkback, bickering and attitude has been at an all time high. If I didn't know any better I'd say I was living with a teenager!

That said, I know as soon as he goes back I'm going to miss him. Especially once baseball starts, it seems like we get a lot less time together as a family.

We've done a bunch of fun stuff this week (on top of school supply and clothes shopping) getting ready for the return to school. We've been to the library twice, had a play date in the sprinkler with his best friend, a play date at the pool and lunch with other friends, a lunch date with daddy and some fun treats. This weekend we're hoping to make it to Chuck E. Cheese and take the boys to a movie (since the forecast has rain in it, bummer- we were hoping to go to a water park).

On top of all of that we've been brushing up on our knowledge from last year. We went over the kindergarten and first grade Dolch site words, of which he gets 90% right on the first time. Which I think is awesome. The ones he usually stumbles on are could, know, and who. All very tricky. Dumb English language. We've been working on our writing and reading as well.

Sadly it took us the end of summer to get to the library but the boys love picking out the new books. First we hit the army section, then the animals (usually sharks, wolves and other predator books are the priority), then the educational beginner reader books and then the random fun ones. It's funny they know right where to go first.

Jack doesn't start until after Labor Day, and while he's disappointed to not be getting a new back pack yet or know who his teacher is, I'm looking forward to getting some extra hang out time with him and I before he goes back. It's amazing how different he is without Josh around. And he hasn't gotten much time with just me since EvaKate came so I'm looking forward to getting to dote on him some like I did Josh this week.

We met his teacher this past week and she was nice. She has a 6 year old boy so she gets boys and it's always helpful when they can talk the "lingo". You know, bombs, guns, superheros and the like. I think what made us so excited about his new class is when we were checking his class list we bumped into his kindergarten teacher (who was great!) and she said if she could have picked classes for the kids, she would have chosen this teacher for Josh. That was enough for me to hear. Especially since she's more of an expert on my sons learning style after spending a year with him around his peers than I am.

It will be an interesting school year. We'll have two boys in school, we will be more familiar with the schedule routine and expectations, and Lord willing we won't be having any major deaths and for sure no births! I'm looking forward to being able to be more involved in the classes, and a bit more time when they get home to be more focused on homework and quality time. We'll see though, there is always the unexpected! Excited to get things started!

Seasons Change

2011-07-26T14:03:00.001-07:00

I detest sorting through the kids clothes each season. Sorting out what gets given away, is too small for both of them, doesn't work, is too holey...not only is it a rather lackluster procedure but it's just another reminder of how big they are getting.

And now for the first time I have had to do it with EvaKate. I found myself brimming with tears staring at a pair of white pajamas with pink butterflies remembering her wearing them just after coming home while the boys held her for one of the first times.

Funny how at times parenthood seems to drag by at times and you wonder if you really will be changing diapers for the rest of your life or stepping on another lego. Then other times you look up and it seems as if you just started the insane journey and six years have flown by.

Sometimes I breathe a sigh of relief at the idea of being done with diaper changing and making regular appearances at the movie theater once again. And other times I want to break down into tears at the thought of it beginning to end and do crazy things like have more children, knowing I would be immersed in the same types of emotion after that one.

Letting go isn't easy, but whether I do it or not my kiddos are growing up.

5 months

2011-07-25T11:51:00.001-07:00

I'm 10 days late again... although I have a really great excuse this time: vacation.

Plus I really don't want to think about the fact that she's 5 months. Because that means she's 1 month from being half way done with being a baby. And I'm not ready for that.

I know I've gushed about how amazing she is (and probably somewhat annoyingly to some of you, I promise I had one very tough baby already!), but seriously I can't get over it.

She's is breathtakingly beautiful, happy, friendly, snuggly, sweet, a great sleeper and eater, and yet shows a fun and feisty side. I cannot wait to see the woman she grows into (although if the process would slow down I would be quite content with that).

There isn't a huge change to me from this month and last that's new, just improving on the other stuff.

She rolls over all the time and can hold herself up longer
She laughs out loud
She grabs EVERYTHING, her favorite toy being my hair
Once she gets something, it goes straight to her mouth
We're teething
She eats like a champ (solids still just once a day but she wants more)
She's started doing this smile that is really funny where she crinkles up her eyes

She also does this really cute thing when she's nursing; when I'm switching sides she sounds like she's going to hyperventilate with a little fussing thrown in if I take too long. She also smushes up her nose while she's doing this. Girl likes her food. It's cute.

Someone asked me in the grocery store today if I had any special tricks to getting a girl after two boys, my only reply was: a lot of prayer!

We prayed so hard for this girl. Not just her conception, but her. She is a walking answer to prayer and the grace of God and I am reminded of that daily. She is such a blessing and a joy!

Doctor Drama

2011-07-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have a pediatrician here I love, she's great. Her first response isn't to immediately push drugs, she's great with all of my children and the practice is amazing when she is unavailable.

And then I decided I didn't want to vaccinate my children. And in a really nice way, I was kicked out.

I have a whole rant I could do on that, but we'll just skip on over that.

So. I have 3 kids who need a doctor who accepts the idea of non-vaccination (I'm not even looking for agreement), is great with all 3 of my kids and doesn't try to ram drugs down my throat every time I turn around.

We gave the first recommendation a try today.

Jack has had peeing issues....pretty much forever. He's been pee potty trained for about a year now so the fact that every time he has to go is "do or die" time is stressful, frustrating and after a year, concerning. So between that and a few other symptoms we thought we would see if there was anything to be concerned about.

Long story short, there's not. And it's a long story because I had 3 kids in a doctors office for an hour and a half. THREE KIDS. AN HOUR AND A HALF. Doctors offices are like mommy hell. The kids are on guard, if not cranky from already being sick, it's tight quarters with either a lack of entertainment or germ filled entertainment, they are usually being poked and prodded, and you have to try to hold at least one down and communicate with the doctor while keeping two others happy. AKA achieving the impossible.

Between the amount of time I was there and the doctors inability to once recognize or touch my child (who was the patient) not to mention the lack of any helpful advice or direction I'd say it was a fail.

Why are normal, nice, non drug pushing doctors so difficult to find?

I'm tired of feeling frustrated and defeated every time I have to deal with the medical industry.

7 years

2011-07-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

Sunday was Chris and I's 7 year anniversary. My how time flies. I officially feel old.

We got to celebrate Saturday evening with a lovely night out and wonderful restaurant.

Some people give each other gifts, we go to James Beard award winning restaurants (Canoe). Because that's how we roll. And we really like good food.

So thanks to amazing babysitters we headed out for several hours just getting to focus on one another and good food.

It was nice to take our time, chat and reflect. And did I mention the food?

I won't lie, it's been a rough year. Some years of marriage should count for extra for all you have to endure and persevere through. This has definitely been one of those.

Lots of change dealing with loss and new beginnings.

Despite the craziness of our circumstances, and at times our dispositions we have survived another year. Each year is an achievement, this one extra sweet.

We are far from perfect beings both of us still working through a ridiculous amount of sin and imperfections. Some issues are completely in the past, some we are improving on, and others will be lifelong battles the Lord uses to keep us relying on Him individually and His reminder that He is our only source of perfect comfort, protection and love that no human being can fulfill.

As newlyweds I must admit I thought older marrieds quite jaded and swore we would never let our love fade like that. Now a few years and several children in I realize they didn't necessarily let love die but it took a different form, mostly a more realistic form.

You can't always be holding hands and making out (just ask my 6 year old how gross that is), and sometimes it's a good day if you have conversation that is more than just dealing with the business of life (did you reschedule the dentist? Are we going to sign up for that sport, don't forget the deadline is approaching, so and so had that issue again do you think we should take them to the doctor? What day was practice? etc.).

It's hard to be romantic and still pursue one another in this phase of life. I think it's hard to keep the spark going until you climb out of this exhausting and physically demanding stage and transition into one with a little bit more flexibility. The balance is in keeping up the efforts until you get to that next point and not becoming content in doing life on your own or in passing. We're fighting for that. And it is a fight.

So we are CELEBRATING this year and making it through the hurdles. Even though it's been hard it's made us as a couple stronger and the our relationship that much deeper.

And very excited about the prospect of returning to the same restaurant to celebrate a year from now. It was good enough, and beautiful enough to make a tradition of. And we could use some stability right now : )

Lessons

2011-07-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

A few things parenthood has taught me so far:

I am capable of being fully functional on 6 hours of sleep for weeks on end. I hit a wall at about 6 weeks
Not even parenthood can change my night owl tendencies
Hearing my children pray and talk about Jesus reminds me that if I have succeeded at nothing else in life I have taught them about their Savior.
Starving yourself until 3pm on a daily basis while you are busy making sure everyone else is fed does not equal weight loss. Darn.
Kids are contained and quieter in the car and babies usually fall asleep there. When you need sanity, drive. With the music blasted and windows down if necessary.
Other kids dirty diapers are way worse than your own kids
Anything that is light colored will get stained, white is reserved for an evening out AWAY from the kids
Rocking isn't for calming only the baby down
If you want your older children to help you with the laundry, be sure to sort your things out first....unless you want comments on all your unmentionables
One kiss, hug, grin or "I love you mommy" wipes away a multitude of mischief
Grocery shopping days totally count as a workout. Between lifting kids in and out of the car and the cart plus walking in the stores, bathroom trips in the stores (more lifting and walking) trips back to the back for something you forgot and finally loading it in the car and then unloading it when you get home equals at least one hour of cardio
Just because I don't understand or agree with the way someone has chosen to parent doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. Sometimes in parenthood you just gotta do what you gotta do to survive.
House cleaning counts as exercise too
Sickness, storms and ouchies are all a chance for additional snuggles. Don't let these opportunities pass
Don't set yourself up for failure or disappointment. There is no way you are going to make it to those 4 stores without someone having a meltdown, and the kids never sleep past 8:30 on Saturday morning so why hope for it?
Puke doesn't bother me as much as I thought it did.
It goes by WAY too fast
Hide diapers and wipes EVERYWHERE. You will thank yourself when you run out of them at 10:30pm at night or you open your diaper bag to find your husband used the last one without telling you, because these things DO happen! But you won't have to worry when you look in the closet, or the glove compartment and save yourself a trip or argument.
I'm a better mom when AT LEAST once a month I get some girl time and husband time both without children
At some point in the day I will have had either pee, poop, puke or snot on me or cleaned it up. It's just is easier if I expect it.
My husband isn't me, and I should not expect him to be. He is excellent at his job and I am excellent at mine. He doesn't have to remember every little thing the kids need when leaving the house, or that we are out of something or think about dinner because I do my job. And I don't have to worry that our bills will be taken care of and the garbage taken out and yard mowed because he does his.
Forget the Boy Scouts someone should have coined the "Be Prepared" motto for motherhood. You will never regret having snacks, bottled water, an extra change of clothes and/or other necessities in the car.
It is the most exhausting, selfless, all encompassing, relentless, repetitive job I have ever done and yet it's also the more important job I will ever do. I have no desire to give it up and am glad that during their most important years I get to take in every moment of the crazy insane joy it brings.

And the first will be last

2011-07-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Many of you are familiar with the verse in Matthew that says:

"But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

Matthew 19:30, ESV

This summer has dawned the awareness of competition in the boys and everything has become about it. Who can get in the car fastest, eat first, pick up quickest (I like this one!), etc. Josh has an obvious advantage in age, height, intelligence, well everything that being 3 years older offers you. Sensing a bit of discouragement from Jack in his constant defeat I read them this parable and verse in Matthew hoping to show them that winning and being first doesn't rank the same on God's scale.

They squirmed and messed with each other and half paid attention to my profound thoughts and lesson and soon enough they were dismissed.

Thinking we would be back to review the lesson in short order we went about our day.

Sure enough the next day I hear storming down the stairs and debating over who was going to win. Jack surprisingly won and was declaring his rare victory to which Josh replied "it's ok Jack I'm going to be first in heaven."

RockStar Daddy

2011-07-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

My husband is amazing. Seriously.

Not perfect, don't hear me say that. He has his flaws, and he's a boy (meaning I can't expect him to read my mind, or think like I do and that's why he is good at what he does and I'm good at what I do...we don't think a like).

But great. A great leader, hard worker, humble beyond belief, incredible father, and most importantly in this case...brilliant.

This summer our boys manners (particularly Josh's) have taken a down hill turn for the worse. We hit a wall when he responded to one of our friends by talking back. Oh no he didn't.

So the discipline on talk back and lack of manners got a crack down, with not great results.

While having issues at the dinner table again last night my husband came up with a brilliant solution. Instead of disciplining the bad behavior we would focus on rewarding the good. Every time there was a yes ma'am or yes sir they got a mark. We started off small so they would get the idea, 10 marks got a treat. They learned fast. Now I can barely get something out of my mouth before they respond yes ma'am. Now we're working up to a toy from Target.

His idea was if they were focused on responding in the right way there would be less time for them to think about talking back or responding in an inappropriate way. I can think of so many ways to apply that theory, even in my own life.

Thankful for such a great guy in my life, and for his helping to restore my sanity!

Mundane

2011-06-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

Via this website

"Mealtime is a gathering. The people you love the most come to the same place at the same time. Conversations happen; memories are made. There is laughter and tears. A strong family bond begins to form—a bond that grows stronger by doing it again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.

The mundane has purpose. If it weren’t for the ordinary duties of food preparation and kitchen cleanup, than this moment, this mealtime, this bond, wouldn’t exist."

With all we have going on I'm not always the best at doing arts and crafts or reading stories. Most of the time it's all I can do to keep everyone fed and mostly happy and try to keep up on the laundry. Let's not even talk about the house. But dinnertime...I think I do dinnertime really well. We eat healthy, I try to expose our kids to new food, we learn table manners (or at least attempt to) we pray, and we talk.

I do dinner. Sometimes it's the small things we do that we need to be reminded really aren't so small.

3 years

2011-06-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Well Jacker is now 3 years old. Crazy. Over the next year any remaining bits of babyishness will slip away leaving me only with a little man of a 4 years old.

Chris and I were talking about the other day how I sometimes don't feel like I know as much about Jack as I did Josh at this point. I don't think it's a lack of my attentiveness as it is more of him being the younger brother. He loves everything big brother does when big brother is around, but when he's by himself his interests seem to change a bit (as well as his personality!). Having a middle child and learning about how younger siblings acts is going to be a learning process for us. We are two oldest children, both the first grandkids on either side and children of 3/4 oldest children. So we don't know that much about little brothers and sisters point of views in families. Time to read up!

That said, when Josh is around it's all about legos and Star Wars and whatever else is going through Josh's crazy imagination at that point. Jack happily follows along. When he is by himself he will quietly bury himself in a fort of pillows with a few of his Hot Wheel cars or Iron Man and sit for an hour perfectly content. He watches whatever Josh wants to when he's around, but if Jack is choosing or by himself it's more Cars or Toy Story 3 oriented. When Josh is around Jack is more talkative (if not downright loud) and crazy, more bold in interacting with strangers, but when he is by himself he's more shy and quiet and sometimes won't even go up to his friends by himself. Like I said, sometimes it's hard to distinguish which is Jack's personality and which is Josh's influence over him.

We've always said it's 3 that's the difficult age not 2, and Jack is living up to that. Jack has always required much less discipline than Josh, however he's starting to keep his own in necessary discipline though. Josh was very defiant towards discipline and would tell you it didn't hurt after he got a spanking. Jack will cry for 10 minutes if you just tell him he is going to get a spanking. He is most often getting in trouble for throwing his cup or food on the floor, and not listening. He is still generally very well behaved, especially when he is by himself.

We are completely potty trained other than at night, however he doesn't always recognize the urge to go early on so all of a sudden he's whining and jumping up and down and if we don't go potty right that minute the world will end. At least that's how he sees it. Very interesting when you are at the back of Target with two other children and he just went 15 minutes ago. We're actually keeping an eye on it since he's been pee potty trained for about 9 months and it seems strange he's not recognizing the urges earlier on yet. He also still has his heart murmur so we look to be headed back to the cardiologist at 4.

At his check up he was 50% across the board weighing in at just over 31 pounds and right at 3 feet tall.

His language skills for his age are amazing. It always cracks us up some of the words he busts out. The other day he told us something was humongous, and asked me how many a million was. Some of my favorite things he says are:

"I need to go potty really badly"
"I got an ouchie yesternight"
"mommy, I lurve you"
"Firstly we need to..."
"Can I have a bah-ana?"

It seems odd since he is the more quiet one but he has a ridiculous sense of humor. He knows just the right thing to say at the right time and will repeat jokes he's heard on the radio all the time. He is regularly keeping us laughing and often gets himself out of trouble by using his humor, and cuteness.

He loves peanut butter and anything jelly, honey or banana. He will often choose that over Chick-Fil-A for lunch. He won't eat the red part of peaches because he thinks it tastes bad. He will eat vegetables wonderfully as long as I feed them to him (unless it's cut up cucumber carrots or pepper). He doesn't like cold desserts very much so popsicles and ice cream are usually wasted on him. His favorite treats are cookies and suckers. He likes cupcakes but just eats the frosting. He freaks out if he doesn't get orange juice for breakfast and often asks for it at dinner as well. One of his favorite places to eat is Panera and Chipotle.

He loves trains and cars and gets ridiculously excited when we pass a train (there's a track near our house). He loves to go to the park but is often more interested in dirt and bugs than actually playing. If he is playing it's usually on the slides. He loves going to Chick-Fil-A to play on the playground. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Little Einstein's on TV and his favorite movies are Cars and Toy Story and Little Rascals. He walks around singing "I've got two pickles, I've got two pickles, I've got two pickles hey hey hey hey."

At his birthday party he was beside himself about getting his own present he got to open and play with. Even though Josh hadn't wanted to share his birthday toys Jack unwaveringly shared his with his brother. He is very generous and considerate and thoughtful. He is very sweet and affectionate as well. Sometimes almost too much : ) He will grab EvaKate's hand and just sit there kissing it for five minutes over and over. He loves to give hugs and snuggles and is very physically touch oriented as how he receives love.

I think that sums up a lot of Jack. He is sweet and caring and crazy and funny. So lucky to have such an amazing three year old boy! Just like I tell him all the time, he's my favorite three year old boy in the whole wide world!

4 months

2011-06-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, admittedly more like 4 1/2 since I'm a bit behind.

However my daughter is not. I'm not sure if it's the difference between boy and girls, or just a realization for how quickly it all goes but it seems like EvaKate is doing things way sooner than she should be!

She is trying to sit up. She doesn't have much balance, but if we lay her back on the boppy she will pull herself up to sitting. The girls has crazy ab muscles. Even the doctor commented on how strong she was.

Most everything else isn't too terribly off pace (except maybe her love for real food) but I just want it all to slow down. I'm not ready to have a squirmy wormy that wants to explore, I still need some more sweet snuggles! Thankfully she's still letting me get in a fair amount of those in. Here are some quick notes of what we are doing:

She loves to have her legs straight up in the air most of the time, I think in attempts to get her toes
we started her on solids right at 4 months (so we didn't have to go back on acid reflux medicine) and she loves it! Like eats a 4oz package and wants more loves it. Crazy!
Anything within a 1 foot radius of her will be grabbed in attempts to get it in her mouth. This includes the boys toys, their hands, my hair, blankets, etc
I'm pretty sure she's teething
she blows raspberries back to you after you blow them at her
when you talk to her she tries to talk back
she's finally getting ticklish spots
she had her first time in a swing, and as long as you don't push very hard seems to enjoy it

She was 50% in weight (13.6 pounds) heights (24 1/2 inches) and head measurements. Right on track, no matter what all the random people in the stores who clearly haven't been around babies in 20 years say.

There are not words for how much joy she brings into our house. And pink, and we all love it. We were at Target the other day and Josh picked up an outfit and said "awww, mom this is so adorable!" Both the boys are quite proud of their sister and all of her accomplishments. When Jack sees someone he hasn't seen in awhile he tells them "we got a new baby sister." Even if she's not that new anymore it's sweet he wants to show her off. And let's not even get started on daddy. He is quite proud of his baby girl.

She was being a stinker last night and not wanting to go to sleep after I had just nursed her. She was laying in my lap staring up at me with a look of such adoration trying as hard as she could to talk intermittently with soft smiles. I wanted to freeze that moment in my mind. I know before I know it doors will be slamming and there may even be an "I hate you" dropped (because what teenage girl hasn't said that to their mom?). I hope that though we may go through rough patches we can get back to a place of mutual admiration and be close friends. For now though I'm still very much enjoying a drama free house and her thinking the world of me!

Honesty

2011-06-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

My kids are crazy, and adorable and I love them.

As we speak they are all laying in the floor with blankets and animals that Josh got for everyone. Josh declared it a snuggle party, and I was more than happy to join in for a while.

Josh was being such a great big brother making sure everyone was tucked in, telling everyone he loved them. I looked over and told him he was being such a sweet big brother.

He looks at me and says" you know why I'm doing it mom? So I can play Wii."

Honesty. You don't get much else from my kids (unless of course you're asking for the truth and then you get stories).

Josh just asked me to come handle EvaKate who has started her velociraptor squeal. Thrilled to do just that.

3 months and end of kindergarten

2011-05-26T05:55:00.001-07:00

This post will be a two-fer.

EvaKate was 3 months about 10 days ago...I'm a little behind : ) wrapping up the baseball season and the school year has been a bit hectic. Plus I'm trying not to focus on it too much. 3 months to me marks the end of the newborn phase, which in a lot of ways is great, it means more interaction and personality. In others ways though it's hard. She's already so curious to see everything and seldom wants to just sit and snuggle as much. It just seemed to go by so quick! I'm looking forward to summer when I hopefully to get to just hang out with her a lot more.

She's so alert, and she knows her family. She smiles almost immediately when the boys or daddy starts talking to her. She's quite friendly as well, obliging most strangers with a smile. She is quite well behaved, she allowed us to go out for our first date night without her and she did fabulously. She doesn't hardly ever cry anymore, more just fusses when she's getting hungry or tired.

She has started to discover her hands and feet (although we've known about our thumb for quite some time...she's a thumb sucker!) and finds those quite interesting. She loves to talk. As soon as she sees someone she knows and they start talking to her, she usually responds back. In fact Jack just got up and came down and I can hear them having a little conversation right now.

She's pretty much perfect right now, ridiculously cute and fun. She has been such a wonderful and much adored addition to our family!

Switching to the second subject:

This is Josh's last week of kindergarten. It's been amazing to see the transformation that has occurred in the past year. He's a great reader and can read just about anything in front of him. The bummer news on this though is that spelling things out no longer works around him. He is a great writer as well and writes some hilarious stories.

It's fun to hear the teachers talk about your childs personality. He usually gets quite a few compliments from them, which is a bit surprising considering he's quite energetic and can talk like nobody's business. One of them told me he's a guys guy. I guess he's Mr. Tough Guy and whatever he's doing usually the others want to join in on. His other teacher told me how smart and sweet he was. I know most guys don't want to be known as sweet, but Josh really is, and I hope he can continue to balance being a guys guy and the sweetness which makes him so lovable. He genuinely cares about his family and isn't afraid to say so and talk about it at school. He adores his sister and is one of the greatest big brothers I've ever seen with her, so doting and caring. He wants to do good and thinks of others.

It's been a fun year to watch him grow in intelligence, awareness, self-discipline and independence. I love watching what a little man he's becoming! Pretty proud of his so far as well! Can't wait to see what 1st grade has in store for us!

6

2011-05-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Josh's birthday. Cannot believe that kid is six already!

While it's kind of a bummer for us both when mother's day and his birthday sink up, it was a little fun since it was the first time it had happened since he was born.

We didn't get to do a whole lot between my parents being in town and church (EvaKate got dedicated as well), but he gets to have a week of fun birthday things and then he'll have a couple friends go play miniature golf with him on Saturday.

It's been amazing to me to watch the difference this year in kindergarden has made. He has no babyishness to him left, he's a grown up kid now!

He's so smart...sometimes too much for his own good : ) If he misses answers, or gets in trouble it's usually because he thought he already knew how to do something and didn't bother listening or reading the directions. He definitely thinks he knows best and will regularly tell me, "but mom, I KNOW!"

He's reading and spelling like a champ, is at one of the highest reading levels that you can be in kindergarden. He's great at math and one of the easiest way to stop the question of "how long until we get there" is to make him count the seconds out of how many minutes we will get there (so 10 minutes is counting to 60 ten times). We'll be driving a long and he'll randomly ask me math questions like "mom, what is 3+3+3+4?" or "what's 40+60?" to which I make him answer and he almost always gets it right.

He's hilarious, and has the greatest laugh. Even if he's telling a joke that totally isn't funny, (like "knock knock, who's there?, orange, orange who?, orange you glad I didn't say tomato) his delivery makes us laugh, usually because he is laughing and his laugh is so contagious.

He's tough and brave. He can wrestle with his brother and dad and the boys on the baseball team throwing in some good hits and elbows. He's gotten hit with the ball a couple times and doesn't cry just bucks up and keeps playing.

Most kids avoid spiders and bugs but Josh actually searches them out and kills them for us (in the house, outside he'll only kill spiders).

Mainly because he's also compassionate. He doesn't mindlessly kill bugs. And he doesn't throw punches in baseball unless the other kids are on him and hurting him. He's great with his brother and sister, always looking out for them and trying to take care of them. He does that at church as well, always tries to help the younger kids. He remembers going downtown at Christmastime and helping the homeless and regularly asks if we can go back again to help the people.

He's sweet. He will still just randomly come over and give me a hug and tell me he loves me, or snuggle with me. He will sit there for half an hour just talking to his sister and trying to get her to smile at him. He loves to just snuggle on the couch with dad and watch baseball.

He is full of energy and excitement and is nonstop until he goes to bed.

He is such an incredible boy, and we are so lucky that God entrusted him to us!

difficulty of motherhood: venting

2011-05-06T06:39:00.001-07:00

So yesterday pretty much sucked.

It was just a really hard day.

Sometimes being a mom is just tough, and it's not necessarily that you have a day where everyone's crying or screaming, but sometimes (at least I do) you just feel like you are in this rut of working so hard but that no one notices or cares.

Nobody seems to care you spent an additional half hour at the store with two kids searching for a star wars cupcake topper, or that you spent the little "me" time you get after the kids are in bed frosting cupcakes for a school birthday party. Or that the laundry gets done and put away, that there is a meal on the table almost every night and a lunch to take to school, or even that the baby isn't screaming because she is fed and happy.

Being a mom really is the most sacrificial unselfish thing I have ever had to do, and I can't think of anything else I will do that could top it.

Sometimes I laugh to myself when I hear people talk about their jobs. Just about anything you do at your job I do it, with three kids. Difficult phone calls? I lock myself in the bathroom or closet just to be able to have a business call, or ask the phone company why they've decided to start charging us an additional $10 a month. On your feet all day? Please, unless you're on them 14 hours then we can talk. Didn't have time for a lunch break? Me either, I'm lucky if I can get a granola bar in me before 2pm, and if i am disciplined enough to eat it usually is in front of Mickey Mouse, or while feeding a baby. Not so much of a break. Overflowing inbox? Try returning emails one handed with a kid in your lap.

I am the party planner, cater, chauffeur, administrative assistant, maid, dry cleaners, decorator and handyman all with three kids.

And is hard as it is, I still love what I do.

Yesterday was my grandma's birthday, she died almost exactly a year ago. In the past year I have lost two of my biggest supports and cheerleaders for this exhausting, unrelenting, thankless job that just happens to be one of the most important things I will do in my life.

My grandma had three boys, and was a big encouragement in the difficulties of life with boys. She encouraged me in general in my choice to stay home and serve my family. She was a great listener.

My mother in law always used to send me sweet notes building me up at just the right time. And she prayed like nobody's business for me. When I had to make difficult decisions to make, she praised me for making the right ones. She was a great example of being selfless with her family.

Both of these ladies meant so much to me and helped being steadfast as a mom be a little bit easier. I miss being cheered on and encouraged, and having people that could listen and relate on the hard days and could remind me that I will survive and will make it through, and even cry over how much I missed this.

I've had several people make comments to me recently about how I seem to have it all together, or am so calm and collected. I laugh to myself when they say this, because I am a hot mess. I feel like I can't do it all and am always failing at something. If there is any resemblance of being "with it" it's by the grace of God and nothing of me.

I know I don't always feel this way towards motherhood, but the last couple of months have been hard, and yesterday and today the toll of having lost two such important women in my life is resonating extra deep.

Ironically they were also the two who always sent me a Mother's Day card. This Mother's day is Josh's birthday and EvaKate's dedication so we will be celebrating those.

There is a book that has been a big encouragement to me recently. it's called the Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson. I read it several years ago and it's analogy has stuck with me. It's a very short easy read and is about a mom who feels invisible. Confiding in a friend who is about to travel to France she breaks down. On the friends return she brings her a book about the beautiful cathedrals. She underlines in the book how it says the builders of these beautiful building cathedrals are unknown. Many of them spent their entire lives working on these buildings, not even getting to see them finished creating something they knew would be great and stand the test of time.

What I am building will stand the test of time. If I work hard and well people will admire the results for decades to come, remarking over the efforts of someone they very well may never meet. And even if no one else sees the beauty of what I have done, God does and it's for Him that I'm building.

Now if I can just remember that at 10:30 pm when I'm frosting cupcakes and making lunches.

Girliness

2011-04-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

I realize my baby girl is just over 2 months old. And we haven't cooked together, gone to a fancy restaurant, had tea parties or painted our toes together yet, and yet having a girl is everything I dreamed it would be. A part of me just feels more fulfilled...I'm not quite sure how to explain it.

I just get her. I know she's her own person and will have her own likes and dislikes and desires, but I know she wants to feel beautiful and special. I know she'll love twirling skirts and giggling. It really makes life easier. I won't have to guess if I'm telling her the right things and encouraging her in the right ways, she's a girl, and I get what drives girls. With the boys I can try and speculate, but I still feel like I'm guessing and completely clueless.

That said, my friend sent me this song. I love it. I think it speaks so much to the heart of women. I want to take some of the lyrics and make a cute print of them to hang on my bathroom wall as a reminder for me, and her bedroom wall.

As I was listening to it today I had her in my lap and was singing it to her, and I started to get it. When I look at her all I see is beauty. Nothing out of place, wrong or not quite right. Perfection. And that is what Jesus sees in me. Very hard for me to wrap my mind around it because all I see are faults, but He sees none of that, just beauty and perfection in what He created.

I hope that when she's 13 and 16 and 18 and after she has had a baby I can play this song for her and she can dwell in her beauty and be comfortable in her beauty and know that when her mama and Jesus look at her that is what we see despite all the things the world tells her to see. We see perfection in what we (mainly He) created.

Here's the video too. It's equally as awesome and tear inspiring.

Easter

2011-04-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

Easter weekend. All right. Busy.

We have a ridiculous amount of things to do and get caught up on after the craziness of the last 2 months so we're playing catch up. And between baseball two nights a week, small group, worship practice and picking out songs and practicing for worship, we're a bit squeezed for family time let alone work time. So we played catch up on Saturday.

We missed Nancy a lot. Chris' quote form the weekend "I've decided it really sucks that my mom is dead." And that about sums it up.

Interesting after loosing two very dear women in my life the last year I've realized something most people don't about grief. It's not the right after that's hard. it's the 3-4 weeks after that it really hits and holidays. I know in the future I'm going to try to check in on people who have experienced a loss around those times, or drop by with some cupcakes or a meal for some encouragement.

The kids looked ridiculously handsome/adorable on Easter. Josh sang a song with his kids class and he got to sang a solo (he had also picked out the song), he totally rocked it! So proud of him! He didn't get scared at all and in fact everyone was laughing at his cuteness because he was acting like Mr. Cool Guy the whole time.

Both the boys got haircuts on Saturday, Jack got all of his cut off and he looked super handsome showing it off for everyone on Sunday.

EvaKate was as cute as can be in her first Easter dress, and we all wore pink in honor of her addition to the family. I'm glad to know we can spice things up in the future and not have all blue and yellow to look forward to!

The boys did an Easter egg hunt and dyed eggs in the afternoon. I wasn't even a huge candy person, and I remember at some point my aunt started putting money in the eggs. That was awesome. So I took $10 and broke it into $6 ones and $4 worth of quarters. The boys were most excited about their eggs with money, plus it will allow us to do a little Dave Ramsey training with saving, giving and spending. Plus I probably would have spent that on junk that got thrown away anyways. At least we'll get a lesson out of it this way and some will be saved and given to God before the rest goes to junk that I'll eventually throw away : )

The boys enjoyed the day and understand what it is and why we celebrate. In fact having Chris's mom gone almost gives them a deeper understanding of death and coming back to life now. It sure seems to take a lot of work though to make the day special and communicate all those things. We've spent the day today just recovering! Maybe someday they will appreciate all the work I put in making holidays specials, creating traditions and filling their tummies with good food on that day. Or maybe not : ) Jesus knows!

Hard

2011-04-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

Today is a hard day. Actually it has been a hard week.

Arnold (Chris's dad) came down for the weekend, and I think that was our first full dose of reality. For the past 3 years most of the time we have spent with his parents has been here in GA, so it was very strange to have him here without her. We went some of the same places and did some of the same things as we did the last time with her. We both kept looking up expecting to see her some where.

Chris' birthday was this week, and it's hard not to think about your birthday without remembering the one who gave birth to you. She used to call him early in the morning on his birthday. It felt weird not having the phone call where we all chat that evening as well.

In general though it seems to be more of the every day little things that make it hard. Hearing the song played at her funeral on the radio, looking at mothers day cards, hearing Adventures in Odyssey come on the radio, the boys getting excited at a package in the mail (it wasn't for them and they were bummed, she used to send them stuff all the time...even when she couldn't go to the store anymore she would order stuff online for them), talking with a mom who home-schooled... it's all the little things that manages to make life seem dull and leave me crying in the middle of Target parking lot.

We just miss her.

I find it interesting how you don't realize just how big the impact someone has on your life until they are no longer in it. Even someone like your mom or mother in law.

Easter will be hard as well. We've celebrated it with them for the last several years, and Nancy and I would always dye eggs with the boys. I thought we would just paint eggs this year (since it's less mess and I didn't have the back up pair of hands) but Josh was on the verge of tears he was so upset we weren't doing the eggs in "the water".

It will also be strange to wake up by an alarm instead of a text that says "He is Risen," to which the expected reply was "He is Risen Indeed!"

So today on Good Friday the presence of death seems very real and painful and makes us that much more mindful of what Christ's death. Looking forward to the hope that we have in Sunday morning and that even though we grieve, we grieve as those who have hope in the resurrection and the knowledge that some day we will get to see her again.

Not sure how people get through this without Jesus.

2 months

2011-04-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well Little Miss is 2 months old as of Friday.

Crazy how fast it's gone already. Especially with everything going on with Chris' mom, I feel like we've finally been able to really enjoy her in the last week or so. Which makes it extra hard that it's already slipping by. I want to hit pause.

I've decided that little girls are deliciousness bottled up. I cannot get enough of her. I find myself just sitting there staring at her cuteness. She's much more aware of voices and people than the boys were at this age. Her cries already have quite a bit of emotion in them as well. She's developed what Chris has dubbed the velociraptor cry which is kind of like a squeal and a cry combined. She's been cooing for awhile, but it's really only when you talk to her, it's like she's trying to talk back.

Having a baby girl is everything I dreamed it would be cuteness, sweetness and girliness.

She adores her big brothers, and often her smiles are doled out at their crazy antics to illicit just that. She doesn't grin very often but for the most part has a sweet smile that shows what looks to be dimples. She shows it off most often when someone is adoring her and telling her how pretty she is.

So far we are average in height (22 1/2 in) weight (just over 10 pounds) and our head measurements. First baby with an average head. Her favorite spot is on her changing table right by the lamp. She'll even scoot herself back to where her head is almost hanging off the edge trying to stare up into the light. She is fascinated with all lights, especially when paired with mirrors. She could stay in the bathroom all day long. She's a great eater and sleeper. We've been doing a minimum of 6 hours for the last week and a half and the last 5 have been 8 hour nights. She's sleeping in her bed. She looks gorgeous in anything she has on but red and pink seem to be especially stunning on her. She lets mommy dress her up however she wants even putting a bow on practically any time we leave the house. She only gets annoyed at them when she accidentally pulls them down over her eyes and then she does the velociraptor scream/cry until it is promptly removed. Thankfully she has two older brothers at her beck and call.

So that's the baby girl update.

Boys are doing great with all that has transpired in the last couple of months. It's been amazing how well they've rolled with the punches. After baseball wraps up we are hoping to get some good family time and let them be boys and praise them for their months of awesomeness.

We are so blessed to have such a great family!

2011-04-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I had big plans of writing a blog for each month of the first year of EvaKate's life talking about where she is and what she is doing.

Obviously that didn't happen for the first month.

Our lives have been flipped upside down in the last 6 weeks.

In the last six weeks we have had a baby, found out Chris's mom had advanced breast cancer and was admitted to the hospital, found out Chris's mom had passed away and attended her funeral on top of finding out we had termites.

It's been rough.

Hopefully one day I will get around to, or have time to talk about our precious baby girl.

But for now we are grieving. The loss of a great woman, and a great mom. I have an incredible husband and a great deal of that is because of the work his mother did. When Chris and I first met I was in a difficult place, full of transitions and challenges. She was such a blessing to me during that time and we formed a close friendship. She was one of the best grandma's (GaGa) I've ever seen.

I think that's one of the hardest parts. When I think about the kids growing up without her in their lives I break down. Those boys loved their GaGa. And she loved them. She was a very accessible grandma, one to never say no (unless mom and dad required it) and always willing to get in the floor and play or do something crazy. The only time I saw her tell the boys she couldn't do something was either at our request, or 6 weeks before she passed when she literally couldn't get off the couch to play with them. Even then she mustered every bit of strength she had to hold that light saver and play with them.

Praise the Lord EvaKate got to meet her, I'm so grateful we have a picture of them together. But it makes me so sad to know that they won't get to really know each other. I think they would have found so much joy in one anothers presence.

The boys are learning how to grieve as well. Josh can lay out the biblical timeline of when he'll get to see her again and where, but he misses her. He asked if he prayed and asked God to tell GaGa something if He would tell her for him. We were explaining to Jack (again) how GaGa was in heaven with Jesus, but he just looked up sadly and us and said "but that's really, really far." When we saw the body he said that was a different GaGa and he wanted the other one. We are trying to let them walk through their own grief process and support them through it. I feel like it's asking too much of them, but we can't change what is.

I no longer have a mother in law, my husband doesn't have a mom and my kids only have one grandma.

We're still processing, grieving and recovering from an exhausting trip.

There aren't even words for the loss and the hole that is left without her. I'm not sure if I'll write any more about it because it just takes so much to even process, and hurts to think about. Thankfully God does not bring death and loss without also providing new life. We are grateful for the new life we see coming in a couple of situations in our lives, but most thankful for that of sweet Eva.

He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name!

Continued Craziness

2011-03-10T09:37:00.001-08:00

Well just when you think life can't get any crazier it does.

Shortly after I wrote the previous post we hopped a flight to STL with a week and a half year old baby.

Long story short, Chris's mom has stage 4 breast cancer that is throughout her abdomen and on her lungs. She went into the hospital and had a blocked kidney and part of her lung was collapsed. From there she underwent a series of procedures one of which resulted her being a breathing tube and having difficulty getting off of it. She now has a tracheotomy that she is breathing through and started her first round of the heaviest dose of chemo they can give her about a week ago.

We talked to Chris's dad Saturday morning and after hearing how she was doing that day decided we shouldn't mess around and were leaving our house by 6pm that evening for the airport.

We have been so blessed by the prayers and grace that covered us.

I was pretty nervous traveling with such a young baby, and mainly nursing as it was still very painful and awkward. Throughout the trip I nursed on take off and landing of the airplane, several parking lots and the ICU waiting room. I think if we survived that we can get through just about anything with nursing. She also put together two nights of 7 hours worth of sleep while we were there, which was such a blessing since we were emotionally, physically and spiritually worn out. She was a trooper and did wonderfully.

The boys both did great as well with all the insanity. They especially handled seeing their grandma like that well. She's not able to talk and so she writes messages. Instead of talking back to her, Josh started writing back and forth with her. It was precious.

By the time we left she was stabilized, and since has been moved out of the ICU. There is still a long road to fight, but she is a fighter and if anyone can make it, she can. Your prayers for healing, continued strength and perseverance for her would be greatly appreciated. Prayer for Arnold and the rest of the family would be wonderful as well.

We've been back home a week and are almost fully recovered and trying to figure out our new normal. I think we're getting close.

So far I've been grocery shopping (with all 3!), to Target, and to the mall all by myself. The biggest accomplishments though have been getting Josh ready and to baseball (with the other 2), getting all 3 and myself ready for church and there on time, and surviving my first evening of Chris having practice and feeding everyone as well as getting them to bed all by myself.

I think we may survive : )

Now if we could just get a bit more sleep...

First Week Madness

2011-02-23T05:34:00.000-08:00

In a perfect world I would have been able to capture my thoughts within a day or two of giving birth to our sweet new baby girl, however as is typical of our lives things have been a bit crazy.

Here are the basic stats:

EvaKate Liana Kelly was born at 11:46 pm, she weighed 7 lbs 4 oz and was 19 inches long

She is beautiful, and perfect and none of us can get enough of her. The boys wake up each morning and the first thing they ask is to see their baby sister.

Her birth was a bit stressful, but overall went incredibly well. Chris calls our midwife a miracle worker, and she really is. With any other doctor we would have had a c-section.

EvaKate is such a good baby. She only cries if she's trying to go to the bathroom or hungry. She's put together 5 hour stretches of sleep for the last 4 nights and is eating wonderfully. We all just stare at her a lot in amazement.

As for the rest of our lives, Josh went into the doctor for an ear infection the day after we had her. A couple days later he started coughing quite a bit, then it turned into all day where he could barely talk between coughs. That night he started saying he couldn't breathe and got a fever, so per orders of our peds answering service into the ER him and Chris went. After a fairly useless trip (because any place not specializing in children generally is) they returned home about 2 am and tried to get some sleep.

We went into the pediatricians office the next morning (EvaKate already had an appointment) with much better results. Josh had an in office breathing treatment and oral steroids as well as prescriptions for both. A virus brought on a severe bronchial infection. Joy. Virus. So we've been trying to keep Josh away from the baby which is as hard on us as it is him. Jack also has some form of it that is mainly acting as cold like symptoms for now. We're praying it stops with him so we don't have a sick newborn on our hands!

Amidst that we have also had some very difficult news about Chris's mom which I may be updating more about later. Please keep her in your prayers.

Basically the first week of baby girls life has been a crazy one.

Chris went back to work yesterday and Josh went back to school today, so today will be our first day of being back on a typical schedule. I have time to write this, so we are doing good so far : )

Praying we get back to a level of normalcy soon as I think for all of us (particularly Chris and I in our first born nature) it will help us handle the craziness in weeks to come.

What's in a name?

2011-02-04T13:33:00.000-08:00

Warning, pre-written post I will put up after baby girl makes her arrival.

We are kind of into names around here. Chris and I both think that they are important, and that their origin and meaning say a lot about who they will become.

So does God. He changes peoples names in the bible to represent transformation and who they are becoming, and the Old Testament gives example after example of how the meaning of the persons name represented who or what they did with their life.

With that in mind, and wanting to give our children something to ascribe to from the get go...we've been fairly considerate about names.

All of our childrens names (with the exception of Kate) are Hebrew. We were open to greek as well originally, but Hebrew just ended up working out. And seeing as how most of the names in the bible are Hebrew, it just made life easier.

While we were dating we said we wanted to have two boys and a girl. So grateful God has honored our desires in that. We were unsure about the girls name, but always loved the boy names Josh and Jack. So there was little to debate when our precious surprise firstborn was declared to be a boy what the name would be.

Joshua is a biblical rock star, a man of great faith and leadership, all prayers we have for Josh. It means God is salvation. What a great reminder to have. Aaron (his middle name) is also Chris's middle name. A way to name him after his daddy, and if there was ever a man I wanted him to live up to be like, it would be his daddy! It means exalted, strong.

We loved Jack, but obviously, it isn't Hebrew. We started throwing around other names that we really liked in the process of trying to have Jack (a bumpy 6 month process). We kept coming back to Jacob, and after realizing we could call him Jack or Jacob with that name (both of which we loved) we were sold. Jacob means supplanter (which means to replace something with another) and Matthew means gift from God. Not only was Jack a complete blessing from the Lord during a difficult time, but Matthew is also Chris's brothers name. Jacob in the bible was scrappy, and even during difficult times was willing to wrestle with God, but not walk away.

Picking a biblical name for a girl is a bit more difficult. Not only are there much fewer choices, but most of them mean sorrow or bitterness. Not exactly something I want my daughter ascribing to. Between the time of having Josh and Jack I had found the name Eva and Liana and loved both of them. Chris didn't buy into them right away since we both tend towards more simple and classic tastes, but came around eventually.

When we found out with this one she was a girl we didn't really have to question what the name would be. Eva Liana. However in the five years since we picked the name Eva (Ava) has become quite the popular name. Having both of the boys name be in the top 10 and looking at having another child with another top 10 name, I wanted to spice it up a bit. Going classic with boys is almost a must in our opinion, but with girls you can be a little bit more funky. So we started trying to think of ways to do just that.

The main idea we had was to add something to Eva. We debated EvaGrace, EvaHope, EvaJoy, and most importantly, EvaKate. I kept coming back to Kate. Again Chris took some time to warm up to it, since he likes classic to begin with, but finally came around. EvaKate Liana.

Kate is special. I was always Katie growing up. Until I met Chris. A lot was going on in my life about that time, and God was really shaping me into the woman He wanted me to be. I remember one night within the first couple dates Chris and I had been on, he randomly asked me what I thought of Kate. He had decided he like it, and that it sounded like an author and wanted to start calling me that. Cute guy I was already smitten with changing my name? Sure, I'd go with it. Looking back I feel like it was somewhat of a defining moment, kind of like the Saul to Paul conversion. It's a point I can look back to and know that God changed my path about that time and the one I went with (Kate) is the one that would bring the most glory to Him.

Most everyone who calls me Kate knows me through Chris, and I smile every time I hear it. What I've tried to be about since becoming "Kate" is much of what I hope my daughter will want to be about as well- faith, strength, and love. Conveniently, it also means pure which is also one of our prayers for her!

Eva is a derivative of Eve and means giver of life. Not only do we as women have the opportunity to literally give life, but God has also placed within us the capability to draw out life and inspire life in everyone we come in contact with. Our prayer is that our daughter would inspire life in everyone she meets, and point them to THE giver of life.

Liana means my God has answered, which is quite appropriate. Not only did He answer our prayer for another child, but he answered our prayer for a girl! She will be a daily reminder of prayers that God has answered for us!

So there is the long winded post on where the boys, and most importantly our new daughters names came from.

Hanging Out

2011-02-04T13:17:00.001-08:00

What a week.

Baby girl is still hanging out. Already a day longer than either of her brothers ever chose to.

God has decided now would be a good time to remind me that I control nothing in my life. NOTHING. And that no matter how many plans I make, or how well thought out I am, with one phone call, or one piece of news my whole world can easily be flipped upside down.

All fun things to think about when you're already dealing with the unknown of your impending labor and what all it will entail.

And I thought this would be a less stressful process since we weren't moving a month or 10 days after having this baby. Turns out moving may have been a helpful distraction....

I've been getting lots of advice to enjoy my last little bit of pregnancy, especially since we are thinking this will more than likely (according to our plans, but knowing God can change all that in a second) at the very least be the last one I birth. While I will say that this pregnancy has gone much smoother than the last two, and I'm holding up better with less pain and still sleeping fairly well, I am NOT one of those people who think this is an enjoyable process.

I'm already planning big things like being able to sleep on my stomach and give my husband a real hug, not to mention being able to actually eat AT the table instead of a foot away from it. Yes it is neat (when she's not shoving her foot into my ribs) to feel life inside of me, but I am much more looking forward to watching it happen in front of me. But that's just how I roll.

Josh came up to me the other day and puts his arm around me and says "mommy, I'm really sorry it's going to hurt when the baby comes out". I leaned down and looked at him and told him that it hurt really bad when he came out too, but that it was worth every bit of pain because I got to have such an awesome boy. I love how sweet both my boys are.

Generally I think pregnancy stinks. But if ten months and one day is what it takes to get one of my amazing boys, or this precious girl, than by golly I'll suck it up (having a few minor meltdowns along the way of course) and deal with it as best I can. TOTALLY worth it.

So we're all hanging out and waiting for Miss Thing to arrive. Josh has told me several times he thinks she is coming on Saturday. That would work well with our plans. So far both of the boys have come on the weekend and around a meal out. Guess we should eat out a lot this weekend!

Hoping to meet baby girl within a couple of days!

Baby Thoughts

2011-01-28T06:01:00.000-08:00

So I went to the doctor yesterday to find out I'm almost 2 cm dilated, and that baby girl is about 7 pounds. Which is right on cue for delivery time based off history. I was 3cm with Josh when I went into labor, and just over 1 with Jack, Josh was 7 pounds 8 ounces and Jack was 7 even.

My midwife asked if I had my bags packed and gave me her personal cell number (I love my midwife, she's AMAZING!), pretty good signs I better get ready.

Which is what I've been trying to do all week. We have a lot that we're involved with and or obligated to now days so we've been trying to wrap up all the loose ends and make plans to make life as easy as possible for the transition.

I have a freezer full of food, lessons plans ready to go for church, a baby room finished, Valentines for Josh's school party ready to go, and a clean house. Tonight I get to go out with my dear friend Lia to get pedicures and go to a fun restaurant. Chris is having a guys night with the boys and getting them pizza and treats. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and up to 60 so after Josh's baseball tryouts (yes we are doing baseball this spring, and yes we agree we may be crazy for it, but he loves it and so do we) in the morning we are headed to pick up some last minute supplies from Babies R Us. And make a stop at the toy store next door for Josh (and probably Jack as well) because he has spent the entire week on on GREEN! Which means his behavior has been impeccable, no warnings or anything all week long, and he's been a big helper at home! Then hopefully head outside to the park for awhile and grill out for dinner.

Sunday we have church and then hopefully we'll get some more outside time with the boys. Monday evening I'm going out with all the girls in my womens bible study for dinner.

Lots of fun before baby time. Hopefully. And admittedly, I'm trying to focus on that.

While I'm super excited about getting to fill our pink room, and having someone to put all those cute clothes on, and finally meeting our baby girl and seeing what color of hair she has...I'm a little bit anxious as well.

There is no naiveté with this birth. With Josh I had no idea what I was in for, and with Jack I thought if I just had a VBAC instead of the c-section it wouldn't be as bad. Now I know that it doesn't matter which way you give birth, it hurts like hell.

On top of that, there are lots of other unknowns. We haven't changed baby girls diapers. We don't know if a baby girl will be smaller than what we are used to, if nursing will work out, if we'll be able to pick up our normal routine quickly...

Plus, I've gotten accustomed to boys. I know what they are into, how to play with them, the different "phases" (Cars, Trains, Superheros, etc). I've spent quite a bit time educating myself on what makes them tick and how I can help them grow into men of God. While for the most part I think I mentally get them, it is a bit different. I know enough to feel like we're doing most of it right, but I don't know just how deeply different things can affect them so there is a certain naivete to just how badly I may be screwing them up.

With a girl, I know what makes her tick, and I know how one comment can get in your head and stay with you. I know how different images will impact her and make her feel. I know that she wants to feel beautiful and treasured and while Chris and I will do our best to make her feel that way, only God can truly satisfy that desire. Knowing what being a woman of God is, and all that can happen along that path and now getting the opportunity and responsibility to try to raise one is pretty intimidating.

I know I'm going to fail. I know in some way I've already failed with the boys. It's inevitable, I'm a sinner, and that's what we do, and thankfully there is grace and forgiveness, so far from both God and my children. I think with a girl I will be more in tune with how I am failing though, and that scares me a bit.

So in the days before birth that's where I am: excited anxiousness.

Trying to trust God with my fears and not put so much pressure on myself. Besides, it's His daughter too, as am I and He's got both of us in His hand.

Baby Shower

2011-01-28T05:35:00.001-08:00

Sometimes when I look at our life right now, I almost have to shake myself. Admittedly I asked God way too many times if we would get to a point like this in our lives. Thankfully I feel as though He has chosen to honor our following Him down many bumpy paths with a season of life full of blessings.

One of the biggest blessings we have had since moving to GA is the blessing of friendship. Going two years in CT without any social contact whatsoever we were thrilled just to have people talking to us in stores when we first moved down here. To think that in 2 1/2 years we are at a place where we have friends that feel like family, have people that love us enough they don't mind watching our kids while we have another one, and go out of their way to help and bless us humbles me to no end. Only by God's grace.

Four of my sweet friends (my friend Emily didn't make it into the picture above) helped throw me and baby girl a shower a couple weeks ago. It was beautiful, and delicious, and a day I will always remember. Not only did they go out of their way to make the day special for me (like they knew I think most shower games are cheesy, so we played Scattegories, and they knew I loved cheese, so there was a cheese tray, and so many other special touches...) but I was amazed at how many people came.

That may sounds silly, but my out of town guest list was longer than my in town guest list, and none of our family or friends were going to be able to make it in that day. As a general rule you only expect half to three quarters of your guest list to show up, but almost everyone on the list was able to come. And they all brought such sweet and thoughtful gifts for baby girl.

Even thinking about it I feel overwhelmed with love. It was an incredible day, not just the friends and food and gifts, but dwelling in God's mercies, grace and blessings in this period of life and doing my best to take it all in.

Two and a half years ago we were begging Him for His guidance and will. We were thrilled just that it led to us leaving Connecticut. In the past two years we have asked for close friendships, a church where we could serve with our talents and that was consumed with Jesus and His word, another baby, and then more specifically a baby girl.

So grateful we serve an abundant, loving God who hears us.

Baby Girl's Room

2011-01-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

We finally finished the baby room! Much excitement to be had!

Believe it or not, this is the first nursery we have gotten to decorate. We moved a month after Josh was born, and 10 days after Jack was born. So one our third, and possibly final kid we got to decorate a nursery.

My wonderful husband happens to have (among many talents) wonderful decorating taste, so he had just as much input and guidance (as well as work!) for the room as I did.

The furniture has all been refinished, and the chair recovered. The tissue balls, flower art, and bow holder/memo board were all made by me.

We love how the room turned out. Both of us usually wonder down the hall before bed just to glance at it, or we'll sit and chat for awhile in it. It's so calm and soothing. A pretty big difference from the crazy red boy room down the hall.

Now we just need a baby girl to put in it!

Christmas Update

2011-01-25T13:37:00.000-08:00

So now that it's almost February, I'd like to update y'all on Christmas : )

I'm hoping to crank out a few posts on here in the next couple of days...we'll see.

We had decided back when we knew we were pregnant that we weren't going to be traveling anywhere for the holidays. 10+ hour trips are interesting enough with two boys and adding the uncomfortability of being pregnant was less than appealing to both of us.

We welcomed our family down to our neck of the woods but as it turned out for Christmas day it was just out family. Some good friends of ours were in the same boat and so we invited them over for the day of.

Knowing that we were going to be spending the holidays with any packing to do, or wrapping more intensive than what would survive shipping, we decided to put that time to better use.

Josh is getting to the age to where he is easily engulfed in the materialism of the world, much to my dismay. Hearing talk of the upcoming holidays and how it mainly surrounded presents we wanted to give things a different focus. This is always our goal, but we took some extra steps this year to help avoid it.

We wanted to step out and do something that I'm sure seemed a bit crazy to everyone else. Having both lived in another country and being been in areas that are less than comfortable we both believe fairly strongly that there's only so much you can teach someone about the rest of the world, and beyond that they have to see. We both though Josh was getting old enough where he could handle, and even benefit from seeing.

Some friends of ours have a parking lot they know of that always has a lot of homeless people in it. Each year they gather as many coats as they can and take it down. After hearing her talk about it, I thought it would be neat if we could pack a ton of sack lunches and head down there with them. Kids in tow, Josh helping hand them out.

After some bumps and divine guidance we ended up on street corner passing out jackets and lunches. We had a ton of coats and over 100 lunches and passed out all but a couple of coats. Josh was out there with us for about half an hour handing the lunches to the people.

It was so rewarding. As serving always is, but we've never gotten to do it as a family before and invest in our kids this way, and there just aren't words.

Now let me say the day did not go perfectly by any means. Jack was crying in the car for about a half an hour because he needed to poop but didn't want to. Josh was only outside for half an hour and then spent the rest of it wreaking havoc on our car. I was on high alert the entire time as I saw people shooting up just across the road and people walking very close to our car with a DVD player in it and my two children.

But it was SO worth it. We were talking and processing things on the way home asking Josh what he thought about all of it. I asked him is he was scared at any point, and he didn't seem to understand. He asked what he would be scared of. Even though we had explained to him before hand that not all of these people were nice people and he needed to be careful and stay by mom and dad, he still viewed them as just people. Not good or bad, just people we were supposed to help. He had also spent a good five minutes chatting with one guy in particular named Jeff. He started praying for him that night.

We did Operation Christmas child and both the boys helped pack a box for two boys similar in age. My small group of women also got the opportunity to go serve at a processing facilities so I got the tell the boys about that as well.

Chris's work did a food drive and we had both of the boys help us pick out food for that. Chris was also able to help get a bunch of extra coats for when we went downtown form his work.

Also when we sent out Christmas lists we asked everyone to refrain from getting us toys. And more importantly they listened : ) That was huge right there. There was still plenty he was thrilled about (most of even more so than toys that typically get tossed aside a few days later) and he got money and gift cards which he enjoyed and was a huge blessing to us. So far we've gotten the boys the last of what they needed clothes wise for winter and enrolled Josh for baseball all on someone else's dime, and had a couple of fun family nights out at Chick-Fil-A.

Finally we controlled the tone of the day. We went to a Christmas Eve service and a surprise blessing was that kids Josh's age and up stayed in and listened. We're still having conversations off of what he heard that night. Because we were out late the boys slept in a bit and we got up and instead of diving right into presents we sat down to breakfast together. While we were eating we read the Christmas story from our bible and the boys childrens bible (Jesus Storybook bible, SO GOOD!). And then we talked about it, and what that meant for us. We finally got around to stockings and presents and took our time with those as well. The day allowed more time for reflection and capturing the moments. It was wonderful.

We missed having family around on Christmas, however we've learned that some of those times can be a blessing in disguise allowing us to become more established in our own traditions and control more of the focus that we choose to be important for the day. As much as we missed having family around we were thankful to have more time and capability to be more focused on communicating what the day was about to our kids.

So that was Christmas. I think Josh in particular learned a lot from our unrelenting discussions and inclusions in serving. Hopefully we will get a chance to do some of the same things next year!

A moment

2010-12-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

I feel like we are finally getting to a place where we can breathe. At least for a moment. Before the baby comes, and church launches, and baseball season...we've been having some moments.

Mind you this weekend those moments were mostly breathed with the smell of spray painting fumes, but they were still there.

We knew that God was having us make some big transitions at the beginning of the year, but I don't think we quite knew what we were signing up for. Story of our lives : )

In the past 4 or so months we have:

- started our oldest in kindergarten and dealt with all the crazy transitioning that involves

- Chris has started a new position as a supervisor within his company which requires more work time and mental focus

- Committed to be involved in an Acts 29 church plant

- Chris started leading worship for the church plant (which involves practice once a week, picking out songs and planning another night and then showing up early on Sundays and playing)

- Had our second baseball season of which Chris helped coach

- Day time potty trained Jack (at not even 2 1/2 I'm not pushing nights)

- Did 3 weddings with CupKates (one of which was in Hilton Head), and then started saying no a lot

- Transitioned both of the boys into sleeping in the same room

- Almost completely painted baby girl's room

- I committed to writing or organizing the curriculum for our children's ministry each week

- Sorted out and in the process of getting rid of all our baby boy clothes

- Are mid way through the process of refinishing the dresser, crib and chair for baby girl's room.

And I think I'm forgetting a few things. It's been crazy and exhausting and fabulous all at the same time.

However there is only so long you can go so hard without eventually burning out. And we were pretty dang close. All right I won't lie, with all the pregnancy hormones, I was totally there.

And then there was Thanksgiving. Josh had the week off and Chris took two days off so we had 5 wonderful days together to rest and get some things done. We had probably one of the most laid back Thanksgiving days I remember ever having. It was just our family and there was no schedule or pressure. I still cooked a meal big enough for 10 (and didn't cook again that weekend!) but it wasn't stressful at all.

Even though life is still kind of crazy we are both getting used to the craziness and figuring out how to have even better boundaries with our time (and say no!). We try to make the most of our down time and are learning to let some things slide.

The boys have done amazingly well amidst all the transition. Josh finally found a routine with school about October. He reads like a champ and is doing well with his writing. We still have some rough days here and there but it's usually linked to lack of sleep and the fact that he is too social for his own good! Seriously, just about every where we go Josh knows someone. He's enjoyed mom going through what he'll learn on Sunday with him ahead of time, and has been memorizing the scripture to go along with it without any problem. He has John 17:17 down.

We were in baby girls room and I was painting while he was playing with Iron Man. I had on a Matt Chandler podcast and pause it for some reason. He told me "don't turn it off, I want to learn more about God". Love it.

Jack has amazed me. He's been doing wonderfully with potty training. I was some what dreading putting both of them in the same room. I had in my mind that it would be bad and they would keep each other up and neither one of them would get enough sleep, and neither would Chris or I. I've been amazed at what a smooth transition it has been. What a blessing. And much of it is because of little man's easy going personality, and his adoration for his older brother.

I love that God is so much smarter than I am. I thought it would be perfect to have a girl in the middle of two boys. I'm glad He knew better! I'm so grateful for the special relationship those two have. Josh calls Jack his "best brother", a combination of brother and best friend.

Hopefully I'll have more moments for this. I miss blogging, the outlet it provides and the record I have of where we are in life. I hate the feeling that life is flying by and I'm not getting enough time with my boys at this very brief stage with them. At the same time I know we are called to much of what we're involved in and can't say no to much else either. Maybe this is just the classic strain of early parenthood.

Praying for more moments.

Catch Up- Josh

2010-09-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

Josh. Where to begin?

So he started kindergarten. That is one of the biggest transitions our family has been through for awhile. Mind you we had lots of other transitions going on, but I think this was the largest that we've been through with one particular kid.

It was a rough start. The sleeping schedule alone was enough to wipe us all out. We are a family of night owls. We all enjoying staying up late and can do so without any problem. For the most part (before school) after late nights the boys would generally sleep in. So Friday nights would be family nights where we would stay up late and the boys would conveniently sleep in on Saturdays. We also frequently did this during the week in the summer. Even during preschool Josh's average bedtime was 9pm, and he would wake up just before 9am.

We went from that to him needing to be in bed by 8pm and be up by 7am. Quite the switch for all of us, especially me who was one tired pregnant mama and had enjoyed her boys letting her sleep in until 9am most mornings.

So we started kindergarten tired, and not getting as much family time as we were used to.

On top of that our very active and talkative 5 year old boy needed to transition into an environment where he was asked to be still and attentive the majority of 6 hours each day. I cringe for him.

But eventually he has to learn how to operate under this mindset because it's how the rest of the world functions. If we delayed the process he would be trying to figure it out later, when everyone else around him already had.

The first month and a half had him coming home with checkmarks or card flips (even worse than checkmarks) almost every day. Some things seemed silly (like not playing pretend guns on the playground, and not talking during lunch), and other things were a pretty big deal (like hitting and pushing other kids, regularly talking out of turn and not listening to his teacher). Did I mention it was rough?

We were trying everything we knew to, positive encouragement and rewards, consequences for getting in trouble, more quality time...all the things you're supposed to do that just take time. After much prayer and many days of feeling like a failure, finally something clicked. Josh had to make the choice to behave and we knew he was smart enough and capable of doing so. One day he finally just decided to do it.

We went overboard with praise and rewards. Then he did it again, and again. So far we've had 5 days in a row where he hasn't gotten any checkmarks or card flips. He's still averaging about once a week having something sent home, but from where we were that is a vast improvement. Generally it's the kind of issues he's going to spend a lifetime learning self control in, like talking out of turn.

All in all we're feeling as though we may survive kindergarten after all.

Other than discipline issues, Josh really enjoys school. Turns out he's kind of smart and catches on to everything very quickly. He can count to 100, and recognize the numbers as well as do basic addition. He's pretty much reading, although this is a bit hard to gage. He has a great memory and so just reading a book through once, he has almost all of it memorized. We're trying to throw lots of new words his way without any context (like pictures) to figure out what they are so he's actually sounding them out.

Other than that I feel like we're just now finding a groove to be able to really see him again. For awhile it was either school, baseball, homework, or bedtime. It's been nice to have some more time the last couple of weeks.

The last couple of afternoons we finish up his homework and I get dinner started and then we'll lay down on the couch and read Chronicles of Narnia together. So far I've been averaging about 2 chapters before he falls asleep on me. I love snuggling and having him fall asleep on me. I know my days are numbered of time like that.

He as always has some hilarious sayings, like "yesternight". If it happened yesterday night then it was "yesternight". I actually think it makes complete since and should be adapted into regular usage by society.

Last night we were laying in bed chatting and the "Cinderella" song by Stephen Curtis Chapman came on. He asked me if that was a princess, and I told him it was. I reminded him it was one of his friends Annabelle's favorite princesses, and he asks "the blue one?", of which I confirmed. He then told me that Cinderella wasn't his favorite princess, intrigued I asked why. "Because she's not as pretty, I like the mermaid one, she's really pretty." A little shocked my five year old boy was already gaging prettiness in girls I quickly rebounded explaining that what makes a girl beautiful isn't how she looks but what's in her heart. He seemed to understand although he insisted that the mermaid princess was prettier.

Interesting conversations in the Kelly house.

So that is a glimpse into Josh's world. Lots of change going on. I can really see how so many foundations for his teenage years are being put into place now. We keep joking that we're putting in the hard work now so hopefully it won't be as hard down the road. At least we're praying that's the case : )

Catch Up

2010-09-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

So as promised, I'm going to try to catch up on several things in multiple posts.

This one will mainly be about pregnancy and baby girl.

We are still somewhat shocked and in awe of God's goodness and blessing over our growing daughter. Each night we pray with the boys and Chris would always pray "and please help it to be a girl." Josh had told us he thought it was a girl from the get go. And I'm not going to lie, I'd been praying that it was since before I knew I was pregnant.

All that said, we were both trusting in God and bracing ourselves for a different outcome the morning of the ultrasound. Every part of me wanted to be worried and anxious but over and over I just gave it over to God and trusted that no matter what the situation was, it was what it was because of His love for us and because He would be most glorified through that. And that is better than anything I could desire or imagine.

My sweet nurse doing the ultrasound knew what we were there for and got right down to business. Baby girl was being shy and kept her legs glued shut for the first five minutes. She would start to squirm, but nothing enough to get the "money shot". The nurse was about ready to tell me what it and prefaced it with "I'm 85% sure..." I told her not to tell me unless she was 100%, especially if it was a girl.

After two boys I'm fairly familiar with what they look like on an ultrasound, and I was watching like a hawk and didn't see anything familiar. I didn't want to get my hopes up yet, but they were already inching there. Apparently Chris' were too because at this point he had stood up from his chair and moved over right by the screen. About that time our nurse got the shot she was looking for and proudly announced to us that it was a girl.

Daddy grinned, and me (the non-crier) may have teared up. God is so good.

Pregnancy and the process surrounding it is definitely not easy on me. I try to be a trooper but admittedly have rough days and when I'm so ready to be normal again. It was such a blessing that in all that we'd been through God chose to not just answer our prayer to make it clear that He had heard us, and had been walking through it all with us. I'm still in awe of his goodness and mercy.

As far as I go there are some overall similarities to my other pregnancies, and some differences. I had my typical all day sickness really bad the first 13 weeks. Lots of days where I ask myself what the heck I was thinking doing this again. Exhaustion as well and feeling like a failure that I couldn't do anything more than sit on the couch most days.

About 13 weeks it let up a bit and I was able to return to a certain level of normal functionality. With both the boys I usually didn't feel completely normal until about 20 weeks and then it was smooth sailing until the last month or so. 20 weeks have come and gone with this one and I still am really tired and wake up most morning with stomach aches. Food is still not very appealing to me, and I'm tired of having to force food in my body every 3 hours. Which if you know anything about me, you know this is a very different relationship with food than I normally have.

Overall though I'm getting a long pretty well. While it gets really frustrating to have my house messier and less stuff done, I'm trying to be thankful for the miracle inside of me and treasure even the rough parts.

We're getting started on the nursery soon, with the hopes to have the majority of it finished before the holidays, but we'll see.

We're still enjoying all the girliness coming our way!

2010-09-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

A quick glimpse at what is going on with us:

http://cupkatesforyou.blogspot.com/2010/09/getting-real.html

Also, we finally got a new computer after the other one had been crapping out on us for months. This will allow more blogging since it no longer takes my computer 15 minutes to start up and shuts down on it's own after being on 2 minutes.

More details about the generalities listed in the blog post above hopefully coming soon.

Also, in cased you missed it... we're having a BABY GIRL!!!!

Almost there

2010-08-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well it's Friday, and I think we may survive this whole school business, but I'm not going to lie...it's been rough!

The hardest part has been changing sleep patterns. Josh has difficulty falling asleep before 9pm, which means he's running about 2 hours short on sleep every night. I keep hoping his body will take over from exhaustion soon and let him sleep. It's been hard for me too as my body is still demanding extra levels of rest. Being a night owl myself it's hard to get in the habit of going to be 2 hours earlier than I typically do.

We're also used to either running errands, heading to the park or going out for a treat at night. All of which the school hours do not allow. Daddy comes home, we eat dinner, clean up, play a little and then start the bedtime process. We miss fun family time just as much as the boys!

I'm also used to a preschool environment where they are extra loving and helpful and give you a run down of your kids day- every day. That's not the case with elementary school. I don't get a rundown each day, and Josh is so exhausted from it all I can barely get two sentences about his 6+ hours there out of him. It's hard to have such little information.

Dropping him off in the morning has been pretty difficult as well. The first day I still had my child lock on the car door so I had to get out and hold up the car pool line while I let him out. Once he gets out, he doesn't know where to go, so he's depending on a teacher to help him. So far the teachers haven't been the quickest to come help. So I have to unwillingly inch off seeing my little boy confused and disoriented looking for help. Thankfully a teacher usually comes and helps by the time I have to completely pull away...but I'm sure it's not an easy way to start the morning, for him or me.

Today was big though, and much needed encouragement! He got out of the car, didn't pause to look for a teacher but marched straight to his hallway door and proceeded right in. He knew what he was doing. We're all figuring it out, slowly but surely.

I'm so very thankful to have friends down here that have been through it. They empathize with the difficulty of it, but encourage me that it will get better...at a month they hit their stride. It will seem routine, they will share more about what they learned and we will understand more about how the school works. Between that and his morning departure we are ending the week on an up note.

Plus baseball practice starts today. Something the whole family is looking forward to. It will be nice for Josh to get out and have some fun playing with friends and enjoying his favorite sport. Chris enjoys coaching as well, and Jack has dirt, rocks, a playground and big boys to watch. He couldn't enjoy it more, plus he's getting a pretty good arm and already demanding I practice with him as well.

Looking forward to the weekend to get refreshed!

Official

2010-08-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official...I officially have a kindergartner.

Josh told Jack this morning that he couldn't play with him today and would miss him. He said "I'm going to real school to learn." He did so great getting up and getting ready. I walked him in with all of his school supplies, and so I could get a few pictures. He walked right into his room with no fussing or looks back, then went with his teacher straight to his spot at his table.

I was doing okay until I hit the hallway. It was really happening. Then we got home and Jack started yelling for Josh. That about put me over as well. It will be a major transition for all of us. The biggest of which will probably be the sleep schedule.

It's begun. I'm pretty sure we just entered the most difficult phase of parenting.

His backpack was already hurting him

Outside his classrom, his teacher is Mrs. Barron

I'm going to take the opportunity to explain our schooling choices, and why we chose what we chose. Each choice with each child is very individualized, this is just our approach with Josh.

Schooling is the most difficult choice I think we've had to make as parents so far. Mainly because in most situations there is a best option that ends in win-win. Schooling isn't that way. No matter what choice you make you are going to be giving up something, and in my opinion all the somethings are pretty big things to have to give up. In our opinion, this is what we were looking at giving up with each option:

Public- a limited cookie cutter education, no control of exposure (which is usually too much too soon)

Homeschool-their ability to start learning how to interact with the real world, taking our little light out of a place that desperately needs it, limitations of us being the main educators

Private- Um, money! And there are usually some of the same issues that public schools have

That's a very abbreviated version, and our point of view. For Josh we decided public schools would be the best option for now. We're open to evaluation at any point necessary.

There is lots of letting go. I can't keep my hands over his ears, or decide what people he can and can't be around to limit exposure. I don't get to control what he is taught. I don't get to have a say in much that goes on in that school. Which is making my prayer life much stronger : )

It also means the second he hits that car door we are communicating, open, honest, raw conversation about what his little mind is having to process through. We have to be much more diligent with the limited amount of time we now have.

With all the fears and hesitations I have about this new transition, I think they are just that- mine. Josh is excited and ready to learn. I think he is going to love school and do great!

Change

2010-08-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

Lots of changes are coming in the Kelly home.

We are enjoying our last day with a preschooler because Josh starts kindergarten tomorrow.

Baseball starts back up with practice on Friday and our little all star can't wait to rejoin most of his old team mates on their new team the Marlins.

We're going to be a part of a new church plant, which means leaving our old church.

And most importantly we're adding to our numbers come beginning of February.

Will try to update on all these changes coming our way!

Jack is 2!

2010-07-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm late with this blog. Big surprise. I'm done making excuses for my delay in blogging. I'm a mom to two very active boys, have dinner on the table about every night, have a relatively clean house, am involved in ministry, maintain friendships and a good marriage, and run a small cupcake business. And I do a pretty good job at all of that. So what if I suck at blogging?

My baby turned two on June 22. Is that weird that I still sometimes forget his birthday? I always want to make it the 21. Mainly because I went into the hospital on the 21 and the whole way there I was thinking that would be what his birthday was. But the little booger stuck it out until 12:37 (I'm pretty sure on the 7). Been throwing me off ever since. Maybe I'll have it down by the time he's 5.

Early on we thought Jack might be our shy more reserved child. Any hopes of that have been forgotten in the last couple of months as Jack quite proudly will yell at the top of his lungs in stores, flirt with the grocery check out lady and walk right up to give Mr. Bob a high five on the way into church.

We didn't do a huge party for him this year, mainly because we're trying an "every other" approach to birthday parties. Especially since all of ours are so close together, not only are they expensive, they're a lot of work. And the boys usually seem to have just as much, if not more fun having some sort of fun family outing together. On the day of Jack got a cupcake with a candle, then that Friday we went as a family to see Toy Story 3 in the theater. It was Jack's first time in the theater, and he seemed to love it! He got super excited for the dinosaur (Rex)! He sat entirely still for every bit of 3/4 of the movie. I'm sure the popcorn, coke, twizzlers and peanut m&m's helped keep his attention.

Jack is a little firecracker these days. We seem to make kids with spunk, and we love it! Conversations in the car are impossible because he's talking almost nonstop these days. Lots of "mommy, look, tree!", yelling at his brother or playing with his choo-choo-train. He's getting very good at expressing himself and is daily increasing in his ability to "use his words" instead of just breaking down into tears, throwing a fit or hitting out of anger. He loves to tackle daddy and "fight"with his brother. He does just about everything Josh does and has a full range or Iron Man noises he can make just like big brother.

He's at that wonderful point where something can keep his attention span for an extended period of time, like movies or books. He loves to play and go all day long, but still will make time to snuggle with mommy and daddy.

He loves trains, and tractors and trucks, but also enjoys all the superhero stuff- mainly because big brother does. He drinks like none other. If he goes more than an hour without a drink can down and entire sippy of ice water- his favorite. He eats fruit like it's candy, doesn't like macaroni and cheese but loves chicken and potatoes. So far he listens great and has pretty good control over his emotions, meaning fits are easily diffused. He delays going to bed and asks multiple "mommy...?" questions as I try to get out the door. He has his daddy's sense of humor and loves to make people laugh.

We're already well into the discipline process, but sometimes he's so cute and has such an adorable look he gives us we can't help but break down in laughter. We regularly get stopped by people telling us how cute Jack is. Then they see Josh and they tell us how adorable both our boys are. We try to act humble, but...we know.

Most people rip the twos, but I really enjoy them there's so many fun things you get to teach them and they can interact so much more. We are very thankful for our precious two year old!

2010-06-13T13:00:00.001-07:00

Once I found out I was having a boy I started noticing the behavior of older boys, using them as a basis to decide what my boys would and would not do.

They wouldn't run into other people and not say excuse me, they wouldn't run around in public places unattended, and they wouldn't be into all the superhero stuff.

Ah the bliss of pre-parental naivete.

I still make efforts in the other two areas, but the superhero thing is a lost cause. Before I thought kids being into superheros meant they were watching the shows, always wanting to kill things, an every one of their shirts had some sort of good guy or villain on it.

I'm slowly learning. Josh doesn't watch the cartoons. And thankfully we no longer have TV so I don't have to fight the fight of why not. He has watched a VERY mom and dad edited version of Iron Man 1. And it made us the coolest parents ever. He has a FEW shirts that have super guys on it, but his bedding, towels, church clothes and the majority of his every day clothes are superhero free. I cave on PJ's.

Jack has followed his big brother, and even though he's just under two is already loving every thing super hero related. He knows how to say Iron Man and Spider Man and well as "tower of power". He also can distinguish between Iron Man and Spider man.

And I'm okay with all of it. I some what understand (as well as a girl can) that it fulfills the battles between good and evil in them. I love that it's an in for me in giving them insight into the gospel (God and Jesus were the superest super guys EVER and they beat ALL the bad guys). I also love that they want to be good, and protect and be strong and brave. Every thing I want my boys to be.

I was drinking out of one of the many superhero cups we had the other day. This one happened to be Spider Man, and Josh told me..."mom Spider Man's your favorite, right? Because he's red...". While red is my favorite color I found myself thinking about the fact that I never imagined myself enjoying superheros in the least. But they're my favorite because they're my boys favorite.

For some reason Josh has started calling his veins "wires". He'll tell us he can see all his wires in his body. No amount of convincing can make him believe they are veins. They are wires. And the other day he told me he really wanted to be Iron Man. Not just pretend be Iron Man, but for real be Iron Man.

I hope one day he gets to be a real life super guy.

Where Has the Time Gone?

2010-06-04T12:04:00.001-07:00

A month and a half since I've posted? That is ridiculous! As has been our lives!

In the past month we've been out of town for a week and a half, been to a funeral, a wedding, had Josh's last baseball game, had Josh's 5th birthday party, been to two birthday parties, baked for three weddings, helped friends walk through major tragedy, had Josh's last day of school, and lots more!

It seems ridiculous to try to catch up all at once so future posts may becoming on some of those. For now, I'll give you an update on where we are:

Home, and resting! We've finally settled into a summer routine (after a bumpy first week!). It's been very relaxed with lots of fun random happenings.

This morning was National Donut Day so for breakfast the boys and I headed over to Krispy Kreme for our free (and a few more) donuts. It's been so nice to have the ability to just do random things with the boys! I feel like I have a lot more "cool mom" points for it as well! (sorry these aren't great they are from my phone)

Right now my favorite thing Josh is doing is praying, his prayers are awesome, they usually go some thing like this "Dear God please keep all my friends, and family, and all my people safe, please help me get another game ball, please help all the bad guys turn into good guys and help the good guys beat the bad guys, thank you for my Iron Man, and Spiderman and my legos and my house and mommy and daddy and brother, sorry for the bad things I did, thank you for dying on the cross, please come live in my heart, amen."

It's pretty much awesome!

Jacker (our nickname for him) it jabbering up a storm and putting small sentences together. His usually consist of "No, it's mine", "all done eating", and" "Josh hurt me". Josh also always needed encouragement praying but Jack is a champ about it. He wants to pray all the time and never let us forget to. He'll even ask at random moments throughout the day "pway?". I love it.

So that's a quick glimpse. Hopefully I'll get more details up for y'all next week!

2010-04-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

We are finally getting Jack dedicated today. It's kind of a process at our church, and you don't always know when they are doing it...and life is crazy so we're just now doing it.

I'm not sure if it seems more meaningful when they are younger, or older. I feel like it's really just a public declaration of the way we've decided to parent. Jack already prays every night, and we read lots of Jesus stories...so it doesn't seem like some huge thing...other than going public with it. On the other hand it's neat to know that when they pray over him, he knows what praying is and will have a small idea of what is going on.

It also feels a little weird without having any family here for it...maybe that makes it feel like less of an ordeal. Thankfully we have really good friends that are going to help us watch Josh and take pictures and videos.

I'm excited to do it, and to have it done. I've been feeling like a bad parent not having done it sooner.

Excited to know we've "officially" committed Jack to God!

2010-04-21T12:40:00.001-07:00

Over a month with no posts. Sorry. Life has been crazy, and May looks to be the same...however summer is just around the corner!

In that time we have had Easter, I went on a mission trip, and we had Chris's 30th birthday.

Highlights:

-Easter was crazy since I was getting ready to leave at 5am Monday morning after it. Thankfully I was able to talk a lot about it the week leading up to it. Josh seemed to get what it was all for, and Jack's still too young.

-My trip was great...so much to cover, but it was really awesome getting to see the students in action and how God is working in, and through them, and even calling some of them. However I think the best reward from going was the statement Josh made after I got home. He was asked if he wanted me to go again and he responded "No....but I want you to be able to tell more people about Jesus." I guess he's good with me leaving if I'm at least telling them about Jesus : ) And then to make Daddy proud he followed it up with "...but not to where you went because they have the Phillies and I don't like them."

- We threw Chris a surprise party for his birthday. It was nice to celebrate with friends here but I think we are both looking forward to having a more laid back quiet celebration in STL. Or maybe not so quiet depending on what mood the STL fans are in!

Jack is talking up a storm, and can communicate just about any of his needs or wants which is very nice. He also went pee on the potty for the first time last week. Who knows if it will keep up, but so far he's pretty good about telling us when he goes (after the fact, so we need to work on timing). He regularly gets told when we are out and about that he's too pretty to be a boy. I think it's a good thing. Chris thinks we need to cut his hair.

Josh is doing great in school, and is super smart. He read a lot of words and knows basic math. We just picked up his kindergarten enrollment forms (tear). So weird that he is that old. It seems like just yesterday I had the kid! He's been doing amazing at baseball. Since spring break every time he has been up to bat he has hit a home run off the coaches pitch. 4 home runs! I think having Pujols' number helps him!

So that's our life, busy but wonderful. I think we are all looking forward to summer to rest a little bit. Spring is like Christmas with all the birthdays and other events for us, and on top of it we are throwing two trips (mine to Philly, and one to STL in may) a month of weddings (for me) and lots of ministry projects.

Hopefully it won't be another month before I update again!

2010-03-10T13:09:00.001-08:00

Both of my boys have been showing such a heart for the Lord recently. I feel so grateful.

We pray over them every night that the Lord would reveal His glory to them and for their salvation.

Every night Josh prays a prayer that he makes up that generally goes something like: Dear Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross, I'm sorry for the bad things I've done, please come live in my heart. He usually follows it up with additional requests but that's the gist of it, almost every night.

His momma happens to missionally minded and tries to teach him about some of what is going on the world and how he can help. Imagine my surprise (and delight) when out of the blue he ran up to me and told me we needed to get food and toys for the kids in Haiti.

When something is wrong he wants to pray for it. He's been sick recently and he wanted to call Chris's grandpa (who taught him how to pray, and has quite the legacy of prayer) otherwise known as Papa Ted and ask him to pray for him. What joy to watch my 4 3/4 year old bow his head and be prayed for by his great grandpa.

Jack also seems to have a heart for prayer. Every night I get ready to rock him he wants to pray. That boy will not let me forget or skip a night! Even if it's 10:30 and he can barley keep his eyes open, you better believe we are going to "pway".

If there is nothing else I have done right as a mom it brings me inexplicable joy to know that so far we have been given the grace to impart a heart for the Lord to our boys.

2010-03-03T13:19:00.000-08:00

I adore my boys. Boys are crazy and messy and non stop. But they are fun, and mine happen to be especially sweet and mostly surprisingly well behaved.

I'm not quite as thrilled with how quickly time seems to be whizzing by though.

Josh has started t-ball and is all boy (no little) in his helmet and cleats. Between that and his starting kindergarten in the fall I am painfully aware of the fact that my oldest is now a school aged kid. I'm thrilled to be able to get unsolicited "I love you's" and hugs still. He will still occasionally snuggle with me as well. Lucky me.

It's been a lot of fun to see him in baseball. It's so his thing. And soccer so wasn't. He never kicked things around. However he was throwing things shortly after 6 months. Even though it's a bit slower sport that involves a lot more technique and things to remember he already seems to be holding his own on the field. And daddy (coach Chris) couldn't be happier.

Jack has apparently hit the terrible two's early (although I never thought they were all that terrible). He's started showing his defiant side and isn't the least bit timid about telling me "no" or looking me in the eye while he disobeys. It seems much more bearable having been through it once and knowing the key to it: unwavering discipline and boundaries. No giving in!

While I love having a toddler it's been hard to know there's hardly any baby left. Maybe this is why the youngests are usually spoiled: because the parents have learned how quickly it all goes by and what to hold on to as much of the baby phase as they can. I get it now. We're not doing that, but I get it.

I do love that he still wants me to rock with him before he goes to sleep. Mind you instead of quietly snuggling it's now filled with praying and talking, but I'll take it. As soon as we hit the rocker he asks me to "pway". He folds his hands and closes his eyes for about a second, but usually stays quiet (as long as big brother isn't around). He says "Jeus" when trying to "in Jesus name", but his favorite part is "AMEN", which he nails. And yells.

I love the phases both of them are in. I just wish I could slow down my own life to take more of it in!

2010-02-20T16:08:00.000-08:00

Jack is transitioning from calling me "mama", or "ma" when he's yelling at me to "mommy".

The only issue being that what in his mind sounds like "mommy" actually comes out sounding much more like "money".

I'll take it.

2010-02-18T19:22:00.001-08:00

It's been a fun filled few weeks.

Jack is caught in limbo between a few remaining signs of babyishness (like falling asleep in my arms, and needing me every time he hurts himself) and full fledged toddlerdom.

When we tell him love you, he will reply, "wuv wu". When I was trying to get him to say it to me just before he fell asleep the other night all he would do is respond by making farting noises with his mouth.

He is repeating (literally) every word we say. We're trying to encourage him to put more words together so this is a typical scenario at dinner: (Chris) I (Jack) I (Chris) want (Jack)wanT (Chris) down. (Jack) dow.

His favorite word is "no". But he doesn't seem to quite get the concept of the word. He tells us "no" for everything. We'll ask him if he wants to eat (when we know he's hungry)- no, if he wants to play- no, if he wants down from dinner- no. He also says "no" like Andy from The Office. It sounds like "noo-wa".

Both the boys loved playing in the unexpected 4 inches of snow we got a week ago. It was nice to see Jack warm up to it this time around. He still wasn't quite sure what to do with it, but at least he enjoyed himself.

Josh also enjoyed his first day playing "hookie" for one of his best friends birthday party today.

He showed himself to be of a child of a technically advanced generation with a great one liner the other day. He got a kids digital camera for Christmas and had been using it the other day and he turned to me and told me "hey mom, we should put these up on facebook".

He starts t-ball tomorrow with his first practice. We're preparing ourselves for the major schedule adjustment.

Transitioning into being parents of a school-aged child is not with out it's difficulties!

2010-02-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

I feel like there is a lot to update on and yet I can't think of words to do it justice or even specific examples.

Chris and I both have been marveling at the changes in Jack. He's officially a little boy and getting into almost as much trouble as his brother. His biggest word to date is "cupcake". Go figure.

We had a fun instance the other day when I went to get him up from his nap. He'd has a dirty diaper and had decided to take it off. And play with it. And get it e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Nothing else in life can prepare you for some of the experiences of motherhood. On the bright side, I remember Josh did that once and it wasn't too much longer before he started potty training.

Josh has been doing so good at school and we are so proud of him. Not that he's not always good but this semester they have started "quiet time" during lunch. They put a timer on for ten minutes and the kids are supposed to sit still and be quiet. Well for those of you who have met my oldest know this might as well have been asking the impossible. The first few weeks were pretty rough. We started having consequences/rewards for his behavior after he got home. It was hit and miss for awhile, but for the last four days of school he has stayed on green every day! Quite the accomplishment for the little man.

He also really enjoyed having his friends (and their parents) over for a Super Bowl party on Sunday. One of his best friends came over and he loves getting time to hang out with him.

We are so ready for it to start warming up and stop raining so we can get back outside and have fun with friends more. It's hard to keep boys cooped up!

2010-01-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

I've been doing double takes recently with Jack. His hair is getting longer and right now is styled very similarly to how Josh's was at the same age. I was thinking I'd have an easier at toddlerdom with Jack since he was an easier baby that Josh, but I think I may have been mistaken in that assumption.

He acts so much like Josh did at that age, running as fast as his little feet will carry him, bumping into all sorts of things on a regular basis, testing the boundaries of "no", relishing in making people laugh and repeating whatever behavior elicited it. He's jabbering up a storm when he's around us or other people that are familiar, but shys up around new people. He's started putting two words together like "up, please" and is working on multi-syllable words like "cracker" and can name pretty much every one of his body parts.

His cute (albeit sometimes obnoxious) habit that he has is when he wants you to hold him he stands in front of you with his arms reaching up. If you are at something like a counter (which as a cook I regularly am) he pushes and wedges himself in there until he has placed himself between you and the counter disabling ones ability to get anything done. And then he looks at you with his baby blues and says "u" over and over. Which is his way of saying up.

Josh's funniest moment recently was when he came home singing "Pants on the Ground" from school. For those of you not in the know it's a song that was on American Idol. Even though he occasionally gets to watch some of Idol, he missed that part so I guess one of the kids at school started it. He told us his teacher was singing it as well. I think this is just the beginning of all sorts of "fun" things he'll learn at school.

2010-01-21T07:02:00.001-08:00

We've had a fairly mellow and healthy couple of weeks, we almost don't know what to do with ourselves!

Josh has officially started reading. His interest level isn't as high as I would like (meaning he'll entertain you through a few words and then he looses patience, I can't imagine where he gets that from...) but he'll let you read to him all day long plus progress is progress and I'm pretty proud of him! He points out letters everywhere and his favorite book for me to read to him is the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (by C.S. Lewis). A non-picture book. I'm so proud!

He has also been praying some very entertaining prayers recently. Some snippets are: "please help the people in Haiti and watch over my family and help none of their cities to catch on fire." and "please help Sonic and all my superhero friends beat up all the bad guys" plus " please help my head to feel better and Dad, don't EVER do that again, okay?!".

The last one he was praying after him and Chris had been building Hot Wheels race tracks and he was standing on a chair to reach the tracks. He climbed up too fast and fell between the chair onto the fireplace. Scared us really bad we thought he had dislocated his shoulder or broke his arm or something, thankfully it was just some really bad bumps and bruises on his head, shoulder, elbow and hand.

Jack's letting more and more of his personality shine through and there is a lot of feistiness coming out in it (I personally applaud a little feistiness so don't read that negatively). He knows how to pretend to fuss to get Josh in trouble, he can fake cry or pout to try to get his way and he also will come lean on you and look up at you with his adorable baby blue eyes and just gently rub your leg until you cave and pick him up. The boy knows how to work it.

He's also reached the age where he has the patience to read books so it's been fun getting to read to both him and Josh together and working on creating a bedtime routine that we can do with both of them. Transitioning Jack out of the rocking phase into the bedtime story phase.

Jack is also fascinated with the potty. He follows everyone in there when they go and comments on whatever business you're doing in there. Whenever someone goes he always wants us to take his diaper off and let him try to go too. He's also started going off in a place and standing with his knees slightly bent when he has to go #2. It's really funny to watch if you catch him, but if he sees you watching him he freaks out and starts crying and won't stop until you change him. I'm not sure if all that means anything, he may very well not end up being potty trained until he's 2 1/2 but it's interesting to see him catching on so quick and being aware.

That's pretty much life with us. We've been doing some painting around the house as well and it's nice to start getting (and having the time to) get some things done around the house again. I think I've gone through almost every closet and gotten it organized in the last two months. I'm not sure what it is about Christmas that makes the amount of stuff we have more noticeable, but I'm not a fan of clutter or junk so there have been lots of Goodwill trips.

I find organization with two boys plays a large role in my sanity. Now if I could just figure out what to do about laundry.

2010-01-11T13:56:00.001-08:00

Check out what Josh and I did today on my CupKates (my business) blog:

2010-01-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

I had to make an emergency trip to the dentist yesterday. That was a first (strangely).

While at church Jack fell and hit his mouth really bad. We thought it was just a bumped lip and it would be fine, but when we tried to feed him lunch he couldn't eat or drink he was in so much pain.

We thought the next morning would be better since mouth injuries tend to heal pretty quickly, but when he took a bite of something he started crying. After checking things out a little bit I realized that the pain seemed to be coming mostly from his teeth. Great.

Long story short, the visit was much less traumatic than I was expecting (expectation courtesy of Josh) it to be. One tooth is loose, but thankfully the root isn't broken. However they won't know for about a month (when we have to go back) if it's damaged the nerve endings or blood supply (which would make it turn brown).

Add additional medical bills boys incur to post below.

2010-01-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

I have heard several people comment on how girls are more expensive to have than boys. Mainly because of the cost of the wedding.

I disagree with that. Not only do the guys parents have to cover the rehearsal, but there is one major factor that everyone fails to take into consideration about the expense of boys:

All of the money you have to pay to fix or replace all of the many, many, many things that the boys destroy!

In the last 24 hours Josh has managed to tear a hole in our couch and sit on silly putty which was on the afghan my grandma made me, in his new superman costume he got for Christmas.

So in case your counting, mom gets to either fix or replace a couch, an afghan, and a superman outfit. Although I will not be replacing the silly putty.

2010-01-01T16:36:00.001-08:00

So I'm kind of anal about what I feed my kids. Not obsessive, but I don't like them to have junk. I know if I can make it it's going to be way better than anything I could buy that's full of preservatives and artificial coloring and other kinds of yucky stuff. My two biggest "no-no's" are hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup, mainly because it easily weeds out a lot of junk.

Chris had a big party at his work this week and they were pushing food off on employees. I guess from his college days he's always enjoyed chewy chips ahoy, and when they were up for grabs gladly took them off their hands. He also decided he would bring them home.

He brought them in to get them checked, and I told them I didn't think it was a good idea (high fructose corn syrup, plus we still had several homemade desserts left over from the holidays), but the kids had already spotted them. I told Josh they weren't very good because the had high fructose corn syrup, but of course he didn't care.

After eating them he looked over at me and claimed "mmmm, I love high corn syrup!"

2009-12-31T12:33:00.001-08:00

Happy New Years!

We're off to par-tay tonight. Excited to be with friends, and the boys!

We are all still getting back to normal habits, the boys in particular. Normal sleeping, eating, and um... other bodily function related issues.

Jack has had some rather odoriferous incidents recently. There was one in particular today that made me anxious for potty training.

Josh told me several times within a few short minutes how much Jack stinked, then he finally came to me and said "mom, I don't like the smell of him". Me neither Josh.

Hope your New Year smells better than ours!

2009-12-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

Shew. A week of nonstop visitors from both sides of the family and we are pooped.

We had a great, and tiring Christmas. The boys both took long naps today to prove it.

We are looking forward to heading out to some friends house (with the boys) tomorrow night to celebrate New Years with some friends (of ours and the boys). I still feel like it's a luxury to get to do that!

The boys have been full of new things that they are up to. Josh is officially reading now. I think we are up to two words (other than his and Jack's names) and counting. Every where he sees letters he reads them. Reminds me of what I did when trying to learn Russian.

Jack repeats virtually everything you say and wants to do everything big brother does, this includes jumping off the stairs, jumping on the bed, throwing things, and shooting things (he knows how to make a gun with his fingers and make the shooting noise). He has also told me several times when he has poopies, which I'm hoping means I get to start potty training sooner rather than later. My favorite new things of his are the animal noises. We taught him how to make animal noises, and those are hilarious. The best is how he roars like a tiger. He does it in his throat so it sounds like a real roar. Precious.

I treasure how well the boys play together. Josh told me the other day that Jack was his best friend. I think Josh returning to school will be rough on Jack for a few days, he's loved having his big brother to play with and get in to trouble with.

Hope everyone had Merry Christmas and that ya'll get to enjoy your New Year!

2009-12-17T13:10:00.001-08:00

Lord. Have. Mercy.

Josh had his Christmas party today and got a new book about Jesus' Birthday. After reading it we were talking about God and Jesus and related issues. We were talking about how the bad guys beat Jesus up and how he died on a cross, and off that how sometimes it takes more strength not to beat people up (since Jesus could have). Somehow that spun off into how tough God was and I told Josh God was the strongest guys ever, and he goes "no, I'm stronger than God is". Shortly after that I was telling him how we needed to love and obey God and Jesus because that is how we get to heaven and he proceeds to tell me he doesn't want to go to heaven.

Somebody tell me how you parent through that? It always cracks me up when people try to say kids aren't sinful. The sinful and rebellious heart in my child is quite present today.

So if anyone feel like praying for mercy for my oldest child, it could definitely be used!

*edit* he did pray and ask for forgiveness. He told Jesus he was sorry for the bad things he said

2009-12-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, recap of the last month:

The trip to STL was probably the most successful we have had to date. The boys did quite well on both legs of the drive (with the exception of hotel sleeping, but that wasn't in the car) and managed to stay healthy and fairly happy most of their stay. Such a relief!

Josh was sick most of the month. He had to take two rounds of antibiotics for an ear infection (as did Jack) and 5 days after being off the antibiotics we had to go back into the doctor and get on more for... walking pneumonia. Thankfully he is back to himself!

We've been busy finishing up all of our Christmas obligations and after Wednesday are looking forward to a schedule free week. I tried to be intentional about having the week before off where we could hang out and make memories without being stressed. We're excited to have everyone down here for the holidays. Really excited about getting to celebrate Christmas in my own house!

Josh and Jack are Pete and Re Pete right now. They play together all the time, and if one goes somewhere the other goes off to find him. It's fun to watch them and their camaraderie. They have their tiffs, but for the most part I really am amazed at how well they get a long. Such a blessing.

We've been rocking out the Charlie Brown cartoons recently. At one point Lucy tells Charlie that he's so stupid, Josh heard it and gasped and looked up at me and said "that's not nice! Where is her mommy?!"

Hopefully I will slide back into the blogging mindset and have some more cute stories about the boys soon!

2009-11-19T13:30:00.000-08:00

So my kids are STILL sick. Apparently the antibiotics they were taking didn't work. We're on another round and if this doesn't kick it then they will have to be injected with antibiotics. It would be super if they were better by the time we left for Thanksgiving!

Thankfully Josh is at least showing a little improvement. He still has a fever but he's being a lot nicer and has more energy to run and play. I think he must have came up and told me he loved me at least 4 times yesterday which is miraculous after the week we had. Mind you I found out he had been sneaking bites of cookies I had made for a bake sale and he may have been trying to cover for that, but I'll take what I can get!

Josh had his Thanksgiving feast today at school. They dressed up as indians, he was super cute. I almost didn't take him to school today since he still wasn't feeling well, but I'm glad he made it. Even if I did have to carry him through the food line.

Jack has officially lost his last bit of babyishness to him. I looked at him the other day and was struck by what a little man he looked like. He's loosing his baby potbelly and really slimming out, which makes him look like a toddler. He's still in the phase of wanting to scream for everything he wants but he knows how to say "please" now and we're trying to make him ask for whatever it is he wants instead of just screaming. We're getting there.

So that's our life right now. Trying to get ready for our trip, half excited, half anxious. Our kids don't do so well traveling. They don't sleep as well in new places and want to be in on all the action. Their eating is also usually pretty off and they run on a pretty constant sugar high. Sometimes it makes it more difficult for Chris and I to enjoy the holiday since we are so busy running interference. Hopefully this trip will go smoother. At the very least the drive should be, I think the extra space in our new car will really help the 10 hour drive the be less claustrophobic feeling.

I'm so grateful for our car. I fit 200 cupcakes in it last night, 75 brownies and 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies. And I still had room for 4 people. Maybe a smoother ride will help start the trip on a better note. Here's hoping.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!

*edit* I went into the other room to check on Josh and he had chocolate on his face. He gets in BIG trouble for getting into things on the counter without asking (since I have a cupcake business and he once drank over half a bottle of Tylenol). I ask him to open his mouth and you could see the cookie in his teeth and smell it on his breath. The problem is, I have NO IDEA where he got this cookie. Nothing on the counters has been touched or moved, it's a mystery cookie that is untraceable. Chris said maybe we shouldn't punish him because of the sheer amazingness of his feat. We think he may have a place he hides things in or something. The kid is so stinking smart. DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DEALING WITH?!

2009-11-14T18:01:00.001-08:00

It's been a L.O.N.G. week.

Not only have the boys (all 3 of them) been sick for almost a full week, but we have hit some interesting phases with the boys as well.

Jack has been screaming virtually non stop. He's getting a couple of teeth in, as well as being at the awkward stage where he knows he can just yell to get what he wants, but he also knows enough words to be able to ask for it. This results in him screaming and me constantly getting onto him to "ask!".

He also really likes to yell my name a lot. He calls me "ma" most of the time. Chris always laughs at it because he thinks Jack sounds like a New Yorker when he says it.

Josh has hit a(nother) phase of very poor listening. Amidst his inability to listen there have also been some infuriating behavior thrown in the midst of it. The first one was that he just decided to randomly pee on the carpet. I still can't wrap my mind around why or how... there are some things I just don't understand. The second was that he decided to take a sharpie to our couch. Mind you the sharpie was in my purse (which he knows he's not supposed to get into) and he drew on the couch (of which he KNOWS we only color on paper). Thankfully some BRILLIANT person invented microfiber of which we were intuitive enough to buy. A little bit of rubbing alcohol took it right out. For the record I have removed chocolate, olive oil, tomato sauce, pen, sharpie, snot, and only God knows what else from our couches all except the sharpie with nothing more than water.

I've had people on a regular basis tell me that I'm going to miss this phase when my kids are teenagers and they can talk back. Meanwhile I'm thinking they're crazy because if they knew Josh they would know how much talking back I get. My only hope is that the consistent discipline we do know will make life when they are teenagers a little easier.

There have been too many times this past week where I have questioned my mommy skills and if I'm a complete failure. Parenting is not an easy business, at least not with my children. For whatever reason it seems as though God has entrusted us with more challenging children than other people seem to have. I try to trust that means he's given me the capability to come out the other side a sane person, with well behaved kids. This week has required a lot of trust and faith.

2009-11-03T13:53:00.000-08:00

So you know how in that last post, I talked about Jack being a daredevil and it becoming problematic? Yeah, that turned out to be true.

So Friday he fell out of the shopping cart. He kept standing up in the front and he can get out of the buckles, so I put him in the back, because at the lowest part it was up to his chest, and I thought for sure it wasn't mathematically possible for him to fall out, plus he was mainly sitting and playing with a toy. I was wrong. I guess he leaned over the end while I looked away for 30 seconds and flipped out onto his back, getting a nice little chunk out of the top of his head.

Then, yesterday, I had the back door cracked open because I had been cooking and it had gotten smokey in the house. I guess he had gotten outside, which wouldn't be a big deal (we have a fence) except when he went to come back in he tripped over the mat and hit his forehead on the ledge of the door that's covered in metal.

The doctor told us to go straight to Scottish Rite (the kids hospital here, and a 45 minute drive NOT in rush hour traffic). I asked them if I could have a doc check it out to make sure it needed stitches, since I knew it was borderline. They would, as long as I was there by 5. It was 4:30, my kids had no clothes on and I was watching a baby girl who was still napping and the doctors office is every bit of a 20 minute drive not in rush hour traffic. Long story short, by the grace of God we made it there and he didn't have to have stitches.

At this rate I'm going to have DCFS called on me! I'm seriously considering bubble wrap...

2009-10-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

So I've discovered two potentially problematic attributes of my children in the past couple of days.

Jack apparently is a dare devil. We went to the park, and he will climb all the way up to the big slides BY HIMSELF. Not only does he get himself up there, but he proceeds to throw himself right on down them. And not always int he regular sliding procedure. Sometimes he decides to turn around on his stomach and go down. This is a little unnerving for me. The kid isn't even a year and a half old and I'm not sure he need to be sliding down slides by himself that are a story high. Not to mention he doesn't even wait to make sure Chris or I are there. Josh had some fears that we wanted to be better about not letting take root in Jack. Apparently we went a little overboard in the prevention. Now we need to work on reinstating some healthy fear.

Last night we had small group, at the end I was asking the babysitters how he did. They looked sheepishly at one another and proceeded to tell me that him and one of the girls were sitting in the corner kissing each other on the cheek. In Josh's defense after interrogating him in the car he wasn't doing the kissing he was just letting himself be kissed on the cheek. Still not ok, but better. After the babysitters told me that one of the other moms piped up that her middle daughter refers to Josh as her boyfriend. So apparently I have a ladies man. I thought the only fighting off of the opposite sex I would have to do was for my mythical (at this point) daughter. Apparently I was wrong. How young is too young to have to start talking about relationships? And does this mean Chris and I should stop kissing in front of him? How am I already asking these questions?! This is all too soon!!!

2009-10-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Conversations with a pint-sized sports fan:

Josh: mom, I can't be friends with Tristan any more.

Me: why not?

Josh: because he likes the other Georgia team, the bee team (that would be Georgia Tech yellow jackets for all you non-Georgia dwellers) and he doesn't like my team.

Thank goodness we live in a football focused state and happen to like the most popular team. If he had this issue with baseball, poor kid wouldn't have any friends. Not a whole lot of Cards fans in GA.

2009-10-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

I've know for a while now that Jack was right on the precipice of busting out all kind of language skills. Mainly because Josh went through the same thing, but we've been repeating a bunch of words to him and he just seemed to be mulling them over.

Well this weekend was his weekend. It all started with "nigh nigh" the weekend before (see post below). This weekend we've had apple, baby, baseball (no joke), night night (more pronounced), more, shoe, and more that I am probably loosing track of.

It's been fun to be able to understand what it is he wants and communicate with him more clearly, but on the other hand that was my final "he's still a baby" thing. I pretty much got nothing but a full fledged toddler now. Good thing he's an adorable and fun one.

Josh informed me the other day that he does like girls now and they're not so bad. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing now.

We've had a crazy month of October but things are finally settling down now. I'm looking forward to being more attentive to the boys adorableness to document it better in the coming weeks. I haven't had as much time to just hang with them and I really miss that.

2009-10-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

So busy.

Here are a few highlights:

We were getting Jack ready for bed, and I told him to tell Daddy "night, night", and he looked at him and said "nigh, nigh". So sweet.

Josh has some pretty impressive vocabulary but I think my favorite phrase of his is "sawed". As in "mommy, I sawed a big truck". Who needs proper grammar when you have cute phrases like that?

Within the last couple of weeks the boys have started working together a little too well. They have definitely started tag teaming me, which I am not ready for yet.

Hopefully more to come soon.

2009-10-01T12:45:00.001-07:00

Josh doesn't get the whole"girlfriend" concept. Praise the Lord. And if he all of a sudden figures it out, he won't be getting to put it into practice for a long, long time. Like 16.

That said...there's this girl. Her name is Annabelle, and she is the sweetest most fun thing ever. I want to steal her. Every time I see her she gives me hugs and I get to get my little girl fix. Apparently Josh sees something similar. When he talks about his friends, she is one of the first to be mentioned, and every Wednesday he always asks if Annabelle is going to be at church.

We were grabbing a quick dinner before church last night and Josh and I were chatting. I asked him if he was excited to get to see his friends. He told me he was, especially Annabelle. I asked why that was, and he looked up me and said "because I love her."

He also looks at her differently than his other friends, he gets all excited and giddy when he's around her, and everything he does he wants to show her, and make sure that she is watching when he does something tough or cool. He holds doors open for her and tries to take care of her any way he can.

I'm not sure what to make of it all, but it's sweet to see his chivalrous side coming out.

April, at her birthday party

June 2009 NexGen Leaders Appreciation Lunch

Fourth of July

Annabelle's mom, my friend Heather, always refers to them as "sweet friends" and I think they definitely are that.

2009-09-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

Lots to update on this week.

Most importantly, our car situation. The Honda is officially gone, and letting it go was somewhat bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, we were more than happy to see the car gone after the headache it has been for the last several years. However, there were lots of memories that went with that car. We had it when we got married, had Josh, it moved with us to CT, survived an attempted car jacking, had Jack and moved to GA. And so much in between.

We ended up getting a Nissan Pathfinder on Monday evening. We love it! Not only is it a great family car, but there are so many features about it we love. We plan on having this car for a very long time and we both are very happy with what we got. And of course my studly husband got an amazing price on it too. We feel very blessed! Especially after having that Honda, it feel like we are driving in the lap of luxury, although that may be the seat warmers : )

There has been a ton of rain down here a lots of flooding. So far we have been unaffected by it other than the occasional travel inconvenience. It's made for a nice mellow week since Josh's soccer practice and game were canceled as a result.

I got to take Josh to see the Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs movie today, which he loved. On the way back home he was talking about the boys in his class and how they play together, and I asked him if he played with any girls. He told me no he didn't, since they are bad guys. Well what about mommy I asked? He said he could play with me since I'm his mommy. What a relief. He is full into the whole good guy/bad guy concept right now. He's been learning lots at school, and most recently is starting practicing writing. He's gotten through A's and B's (lower case and upper case), and knows how to write his full name (which is a big deal since those s's have been hard!).

Jack had his 15 month doctors appointment yesterday. He was 25% weight, 50% height, and 95% for his head. That's my boy. Almost all of his appointments have resulted in those statistics. I love this age he's at right now. I've always said my favorite age range is the 1-2year time frame (although I'm loving age 4 more and more). I love watching his little personality emerge, and boy is it ever. I was working on something the other day and he crawled up on the couch and kept flinging himself on my lap. He is getting more and more outgoing, as well as talkative. He doesn't put up with Josh's stuff, and if Josh takes a toy from him Jack will yell at him and try to take it back, while throwing in a few hits at the same time. He's very sensitive to any sort of discipline, much more so than Josh was. Josh would laugh at us and do whatever it was we had told him not to while Jack either listens, or at the least bit of reprimanding pouts or even cries. He has such a sweet and loving disposition about him.

The last couple weeks have been stressful so it's been nice to have this one calm down a little bit, and have the peace of the car situation being taken care of. Other than a lack of sunshine right now, life is good.

2009-09-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Time for the Kelly Family Sports Rundown.

This time of year is kind of like the mecca of sports I think. Baseball is at the peak of it's action with the race for who's going to win the division title, and football season is in full swing. It's rare to see anything but some sort of game on out TV during the weekend, and the TV seems to be on almost constantly, even if no one is in front of it (that way when Chris walks by it he can see the scores).

So here is where we stand.

Baseball:
Our first team loyalty is with (and always will be with) the St. Louis Cardinals. If this game is on we more often that not will be in front of it. I have a whole soap box on why they're the best team in baseball, but I think most of our readers are in STL, so no explanation necessary.

Our AL (american league) team that we pull for is the Boston Red Sox. We liked them before leaving STL, but living in CT and going to a few games only intensified our appreciation. As much as we like the Red Sox however, if they are playing the Cards... forget about it.

Chris will also occasionally still root for the Giants, but seeing as how they pretty much stink, and the town of St. Louis and I have indoctrinated him with enough Cardinal love and loyalty, these happenings are few and far between.

College Football:

This is practically a religion down here. It is insane how crazy people are about their football down here. Shortly after we moved down here we knew we just wouldn't fit in if we didn't have an SEC team we pulled for. After weighing the pros and cons, and Chris going to a game, our alliance now lies with the UGA Georgia Bulldogs.

I also pull for Mizzou.

NFL:

Let's be honest, the Rams aren't really a STL team. Not only do they stink, I'm just not a fan of the organization and how they run it. On the flip side, I've been really impressed with the Falcons organization and how they run things. Especially when the whole Michael Vick thing went down, I thought they handled it very gracefully (and that was before we moved to ATL), between that and the fact that they are actually good, we root for them.

Chris occasionally roots for the 49ers, but again, seeing as how they stink, it's not usually given much TV time.

So that's the lineup. Josh knows almost all of our teams by names and can recognize them. He was yelling for the Falcons Sunday afternoon, and the Cardinals on Sunday night (thank you ESPN). He gets into the games, it's pretty cute.

What team do you pull for?

2009-09-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

I have two very snuggly boys today. And I love it.

I'm not sure if it's still not feeling 100% normal with Josh, or if it's being in school and having time away from mom that is making him want to spend more time with me, but whatever it is, I will take it!

He was snuggling with me and I asked him if when he was as tall as daddy he would still give his mommy hugs. He said yes. I said what about when you are playing sports in high school and have a girlfriend? Yes. What about when you are married, and have kids? Still yes. Sweet, but I told him that I wouldn't ask for them at weird times and would draw healthy boundaries. I figured it's a fair exchange.

Josh also memorized his first bible verse for school today. Genesis 1:1. I'm so proud! He is also working on writing the letter "A". Upper and lower case. We are also working on lower case "s" because it's in his name, which he needs to be able to write, and apparently it's quite difficult for him.

So that's our life. Glad to be getting back into somewhat of a routine now, and not wondering about the unknown.

The Toyota is fixed and we are looking for a "new" car to replace the Honda. RIP Honda.

2009-09-13T17:28:00.000-07:00

Lord have mercy, has it been a week.

I think it has probably been one of the most crazy weeks of my adult life.

There has been some high points, and some very low points.

Recap time:

Monday- doesn't count because it was labor day

Tuesday- Josh's first day of preschool, he will be going four days a week from 9:30 to 1:30. Big stuff. He did great, and he loved it, I was so proud of him.

I also had cupcakes that I had to deliver that day, as well as making some more for my bible study the next day as well as an appetizer. I also had to write up the recipes for a book that we are making for our bible study group.

Chris noticed his car acting funny, and made plans to get a ride to work the next morning, so we dropped his car off that night at our mechanics.

I noticed Jack wasn't feeling very well.

Wednesday- drop Josh off bright and early, he was a little bit more apprehensive the next day, figuring out the routine, but was great as soon as we pulled up. Rushed over to bible study. Rushed home to squeeze in an hour nap for Jack, rushed to pick Josh up (I am so thankful our preschool is less than a mile away from our house!) and rushed home again.

Upon getting home, I had to feed the kids, get Jack down for another nap, get them packed up for the evening, and prepare for my small group girls that night. I also had to leave earlier than normal to go pick up Chris. During that time we find out that Chris's car is pretty much toast. So now we have to get a new car. A year earlier than thought we would need to.

So I picked up Chris, and we grabbed a quick dinner at Chick-Fil-A. He dropped the kids and I off at church and headed out to the music store where he could pick up some things he needed for the lesson he has been teaching on Friday night. Pick us up at 9:30, and head home. Exhausted.

Thursday- relaxing day. Drop off Josh, go to Target, Costco, and Kroger, and get home in time to get Jack a two hour nap before Josh's pick up time. Awesome. Finally feeling some of the benefits of having one kid in preschool. Pick up Josh and head home. Jack finally acting like he's feeling a little better, but I can tell Josh is on the downhill slope, but still hoping it won't hit him that bad. I get a call that I need to bring snack and drinks to the soccer game on Saturday. Except there are nut, dairy and egg allergies (?!) on his team. Start racking my brain for options. Pack picnic dinner, go pick up Chris again (since we shouldn't drive his car) and head to soccer fields for practice. Pick up a DQ treat and head home. Josh crashing hard.

Friday- Josh wakes up with a fever and I decide to keep him out from school, and make a doctors appointment. Head to the doctors. Am there a long time. Pick up Panera for lunch and head to Walmart to search for snacks to feed team impossible. Home to get the kids fed. One of my small group girls comes over an hour or so later, all the while I'm staying updated through texts and facebook about the impending arrival of my new niece or nephew. We hang out while the kids run around and I try to get dinner made, waiting for Chris to get home from teaching his lesson. We all hung out over dinner (chicken and dumplings with the kids and Chris being under the weather) and then after dessert rejoiced over the birth of our new niece, Anna Leigh Kelly. Chris was a rockstar and got the kids to bed while I hung out a little more.

Saturday- Everybody wakes up early feeling lousy. We decide to scrape together and head to Josh's first game. Josh doesn't eat any breakfast, and is obviously feeling lousy. Jack has three teeth coming in and is ridiculously cranky. It's going to be a rough day. We get to the game and our assistant coach is out. Our head coach asks Chris if he'd be willing to help out, and of course rockstar husband steps up. The game is in direct sunlight and it is bright, hot and humid. The boys start going down fast. Thankfully the game is only an hour. In the last 10 minutes of the game Josh comes off the field crying. He was done. He also didn't understand why daddy couldn't pick him up on the field. His team did win though.

We come home and pretty much crashed the rest of the day.

Sunday- We miss church because we didn't want to expose anyone else. Lounge around morning. Mid-afternoon we finally motivate ourselves to get out of the house. We decide to go look at an SUV at a dealership (since we are in need of a car). Halfway there our Camry (the reliable car) starts making a really weird noise. Chris pulls over and checks it out, and while we can't figure out what it is, we know it's not good, and decide to head home. While praying. While on the way we hatch the plan for me to jump out real quick and grab the Honda to follow him to the dealership right around the corner. As soon as I jump out of the car, there is a loud click and the motor dies. I motion to Chris asking if he did that and he replies no. Stink. Our neighbor with a truck towed us over to the mechanics.

So that is how our week ended. First week of preschool in the books, first soccer practice and game in the books, two broken cars, and a new niece, and a sick family.

I am glad this week is over.

2009-09-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

My kids are awesome.

Seriously.

I know I realize that I am biased because they are mine, but I've seen people that don't even know them get a huge kick out of watching them.

Sure they have their faults. Who doesn't. But as a whole...they rock.

They have tons of personality. They are very expressive. They (well, Josh, Jack's not quite old enough to tell) have a passion for the Lord. They both have some of the best smiles I have ever seen. They listen, not always willingly, but eventually, they will listen. They both have sweet dispositions, and like to snuggle. They have both shown a curiosity and hunger to learn. They are hilarious, and love to make people laugh. They enjoy interacting with people and like to have fun.

I love my kids, and I think they are great.

I don't like being in situations where people don't look for the good in my kids.

2009-09-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

Good Night.

We started off kind of rushed, but ended with a bang. Wednesdays are crazy. I have bible study in the morning, and youth at night. Chris has to leave right at 5pm (a rarity these days) to come help me feed the kids so I can get them out the door by 6pm with me. It gives him some down time, and the kids get to play with their friends. Any how, getting in the car is always a big relief.

I had a great night with the girls and the kids were in great moods, and didn't cry at all when we had to leave. They were being so good I thought I would do a fun mommy splurge, so we stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way home. We rolled down the windows and rocked out to some Lincoln Brewster. I love that Josh is thrilled with loud music and a beautiful night blowing in the windows. A boy after my heart!

We walked in the door to the song "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey blasting and Chris vacuuming. Now that's sexy. I dropped the donuts, and the kids and we all joined in singing and dancing. After about 3 more repeats and a quick sugar rush, it was off to bed for the boys.

Good times in the Kelly house.

2009-08-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

Right now I am sitting with the sweetest baby snuggled up in my lap, and typing one handed. But it's worth it for the snuggles. He has his legs around me and is laying his head on my chest. It smells like the cinnamon oatmeal he had for breakfast. I love that Jack still loves to snuggle so much. For some reason I thought that once we hit that 1 year mark it would all be downhill.

Thankfully I was wrong. He still wants me to rock him before he goes to sleep at night, and he will still fall asleep on me. When I've been away for a little while, all he wants me to do is to hold him. It's awesome. And the reason I need to have a girl. I'm way too addicted to this whole snuggling thing, and I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure after about the age of 5, my boys are not going to be down with the amount of snuggling their mom wants.

Josh has been cracking people up with one line, that bears explanation. There is a commercial for some oil company where a guy walks around and slaps people with the oil dipstick from a car and says "start thinking with your dipstick, jimmy." Chris thinks this commercial is hilarious, which of course means Josh does too, so he's been running around telling people to "start thinking with your wipstick jimmy". The best part is his face when he says it, he mimicks the face of the guy on the commercial, and it is hilarious! He makes kids and adults laugh with this one.

2009-08-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

We were taking off in the airplane, and got through the clouds when Josh looked over and told us:

"I can see where God and Jesus live!"

2009-08-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

I made ravioli tonight for dinner. We sat down, and Josh asked for some "rolyoli" (read, rolypoly without the "p").

Generally I try to encourage him to proper English, but that one was so cute, we let it slide.

Jack's favorite thing to do in the car right now is to howl like a coyote. He's really loud and he thinks it's hilarious. We'll look back to try to tell him to be more quiet (because it's seriously ear piercing) and he just cracks up when we turn around and then it's impossible for us not to laugh, and the whole process starts over.

My kids may be extremely active and somewhat mischievous, but they sure are cute. And full of personality!

2009-08-15T15:27:00.000-07:00

We were just cleaning up dinner and Josh walked in with my small bible exclaiming: mommy, I read this whole bible!" Intrigued Chris and I asked what it said, and here is the story that proceeded:

"God and Jesus were in the world fighting and a guy came and fighted Jesus and hit and made him bleed, but he (Jesus) got up and wiped it off, and then He (Jesus) got him(the bad guy)"

Interestingly, it's not too far off.

2009-08-11T12:05:00.001-07:00

I should have updated on this a couple of weeks ago, but I have been really busy, and I didn't want to get ahead of myself. But I think it's official that we are a pull-up (for night time) and bottle free house! Woo Hoo! It feels weird to be without the bottles in particular since those have been a part of our lives for the last four years (Josh used an empty one to fall asleep until he was 3, reason #37 why Jack was never allowed to fall asleep with bottles).

My grocery budget in particular is happy to be without the pull-ups. Those suckers are expensive. I still have a pile of coupons if anyone is interested.

Jack is walking around everywhere and gains more and more stable each day. He's learning more new words and loves to play with his big brother. I pray that they will continue to be so close as they get older.

As much as I wanted a girl with our second pregnancy, I'm very thankful God had another plan. I don't think Josh would have known what to do with a girl just yet (we are at an overwhelming peak of the gun phase) and it's so fun to see them becoming so close, something I'm not sure would have happened right away with a girl. Plus this way I get to make them share a room. Muahahaha.

I feel like other than that there isn't much substantial to update on. I'm not sure if it's a lack of funny comments, or a lack of time to write them down. Maybe a little bit of both. Josh has been in a little bit of funk attitude wise for a little while and there has been more whining than jokes. Hopefully we are over that soon.

2009-08-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Josh was eating lunch and told me that he was going to eat a whole bunch so God and Jesus would get really full.

Sometimes I think he gets his stomach and his heart confused, either that or he just thinks they are all connected.

I'll argue that theology at a later date. Maybe after Anatomy class. At least he was looking out for them, I guess.

2009-07-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

After a lack of play dates with vacations, and even a hiatus from youth (where he goes and plays with his friends in the provided childcare) Josh got his friend fix this week.

Three of his best friends are Samantha, Jeremy and Annabelle. Those four love to play together at every youth function their mommies are at. This week Josh got a play date with them (and other friends) and got to see them during a small group leader training.

Tonight he gets to see his favorite babysitter too. Which mommy and daddy are pretty excited about! I think this will be the first time since STL that we are going to go out with friends. A night out is a pretty big novelty, but to do it with company is extra special. It will be nice to communicate without having to feed someone, talk over little people, or be interrupted with necessary disciplinary actions. Oh to be a real adult again.

Jack is walking almost exclusively now. He seems a little more unstable that Josh did at first, but it's cute to watch him quite literally toddle around.

Daddy is so proud because he is already throwing balls. We've got another one with a really good arm. Daddy is going to have to start restricting the throwing, no matter how proud he is though if he wants to keep his flat screen in tact!

Not too much else to update on. Just keeping busy with all the school start up activities going on for Josh (gulp) and me with the youth. This school year is going to bring lots of changes. I hope we all adjust well!

2009-07-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

Two sick kiddos here. Supposedly just a bad cold, but at least for Josh it is one whopper of a cold. I haven't seen anything other than the stomach flu take him down this hard before.

All he wants to do is drink VitaminWater and lay on the couch and watch Bolt.

Currently Panera's chicken noodle soup is helping to make it all better.

He's funny even when he is sick though. Jack was about to throw something on the floor (which we have been getting onto him for rather harshly since I have estimated that I spend at least one hour every day cleaning him the chair and the floor up after he eats) and I yelled at him"no" to get his attention. Apparently I scared Josh too because he looks over at me and tell me that he had the "pee scared out of me".

Speaking of Jack, I'm not sure how that little trickster has become a master of stairs without even being fully stable on his feet yet, but he has done just that. He's stealthy too. We have to keep the gate up at all times. Chris came home from work and I had just brought Jack downstairs and left the gate down. In the course of going to tell Chris "hi" Jack had already crawled over to the stairs and gotten all the way up them. I run over to find where he is to see him sitting nicely at the top of the stairs grinning at me and clapping for himself. So much for the idea of less busy mornings while Josh is in preschool.

We also got a letter yesterday informing us that Josh will be playing for the Tornadoes soccer team this fall. He's going to look so handsome running aimlessly back and forth on the field.

Now I have to go clean up the disaster in my kitchen that is the result of two sick kids eating lunch. I'd been trying to avoid it with blogging, but there is only so much a girl can say, and so much more that I've got to do.

2009-07-20T06:55:00.000-07:00

School starts back here is less than a month. Geez. Normally that date wouldn't effect me, but this year it does. Not only do I volunteer with the high school ministry and the start date of school is correlated to the start date of small groups, but Josh starts school this year.

Mind you it is just preschool, but it's 4 days a week. That's a lot. I'm trying not to think about it because when I do it makes me want to do crazy things. And he's playing soccer. So while last year the start of school came and went without much notice, this year it will bring a busier schedule, trips to a soccer field for practice, lonelier days, and Saturday morning soccer games.

It's so funny Chris and I always talked about these days with excitement, but admittedly I'm getting a little apprehensive now that they are here. I'm sure it's mostly the intimidation of change, and I'll love the freedom and excitement of our new schedule. But like it or not, there is no more escaping the fact that Josh is growing up.

2009-07-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

Normalcy for the most part has been restored in the Kelly household. I'm restocked on my usual grocery supply, after this afternoon the house will be completely clean (I use that phrase loosely, meaning that it will have been completely cleaned at one point, not that it still is), we are back on our typical eating and sleeping schedule and have already finished testing the boundaries.

I think it's a little crazy how it takes nearly as long as you were gone on your vacation to recover from it. Again using the term vacation loosely. If you have ever been on to youth camp you know what I mean.

Last night we had a lovely family evening. It's rare that we all have a really good night at the same time. Either Chris is stressed from work, or has something else on his mind, I'm thinking about what kind of cupcakes I'm going to make or how to explain apologetics to 15 year old girls, or one of the kids is fussing because of teeth, they are tired, or just because.

But last night the stars aligned. We had a nice dinner, of which everyone ate well, and then headed over to Dairy Queen to pick up a treat. We took it over to this area in historic Buford where train tracks run right through the historic area. On either side of it there are large areas of grass and benches. We took our treats there and the kids played in the grass, being incredibly sweet to one another while Chris and I got to hang out and talk. The boys got to see two trains go by within a couple feet of them.

We came home and Chris and the boys played with these little plastic army soldier guys (which I got in the Target $1 section, they have a bunch of great stuff for boys right now, those and foam swords). Jack joined in trying to make shooting noises which Chris coined as chemical warfare in the form of spit. Even bedtime went fairly smoothly.

These nights, however few and far between make it all worth it.

2009-07-14T18:20:00.001-07:00

I'm home, we're home, and resuming a state of normalcy.

I'll try to do a quick summary here with more in depth posts later.

Camp was good, but for reasons other than I expected it to be, and it was a very different experience that what I had in mind.

Savannah was AMAZING! I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but since our honeymoon, Chris and I have never gone anywhere just the two of us. It was a much needed time away, and what a blessing it was!

It was great to come back home, I got quite the greeting from Josh. I don't think he stopped wanting to be close to me for the first 24 hours and even after that he will still randomly come up to me and tell me he missed me. Jack on the other hand wouldn't have anything to do with me at first. He refused to look at me and gave me a bit of an attitude like he was mad at me for leaving him. After the first couple hours though he was his normal self.

Now if I can get all the laundry finished, and the house all clean, we'll be in business.