Tough Stuff

It was a hard weekend for our family.

In a lot of ways I feel we are entering a new season where everything is unknown. We usually experience this about every 3 years just in the form of moving. Now we are living in the same spot but everything around us seems to be changing.

I think I would rather move.

This was Chris's last Sunday leading worship at the church plant we've been involved with. It was a decision that was a long time in the making and one that will honestly let us all breathe a sigh of relief for awhile.

While I'll miss seeing him get to play, and at times I know he'll miss it as well we have just been so overwhelmed in the last year. When the gig first started we had two preschool age kids and a fully functioning complete family. Obviously all of that has changed in the last year.

Josh is in school which is a very different schedule than the more laid back easy going preschool life. I have limited time with him and it's filled with homework and reading, or rushing out to baseball practice, games or small group.

We also added a child and lost Chris's mom, both of which have had major impacts in their own way.

And not to brag, but that husband of mine...he's kind of a big deal, closing deals and chatting with VP's. He has a lot of responsibility at work and puts in 50-60 hours each week. And he rocks it out. The big bosses adore him and want him to play golf with them. But that's a lot of work, and pressure and a lot for his brain to keep up with.

Then to try to pick out songs, practice, talk to and meet with all the people interested in playing, get the songs to the tech people and spend half of his Sundays at church (as well as show up at small group and help coach baseball)...it was just too much. There was no way he could keep up. And I was trying to manage everything at home and pick up the slack while he was trying to keep up. Which left both of us exhausted and drained and with little to no time for each other, and that only works for so long.

So that door is closed with quite a bit of peace and answer to long prayed prayers that went along with it.

Chris's dad also came down this weekend. With a new "friend". I still don't even really have words other than to just say it was hard. Mainly because every bit of it was a reminder of what no longer is. Our family won't ever be the same. And we miss her horribly.

I have no idea what is in store for the typically dependable side of the family. I know there are a lot more conversations and prayer that's taking place both between Chris and I and in general.

I know God has a plan for us. I repeat that to myself a lot. I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR US. I know He is loving and merciful and good and is doing a great work. But right now I feel like we are running off the memory and the promise of that then the current state of feeling. And we're all weary and ready to see His face and a glimpse of his plan.

Growing

So I know I only usually update every months for EvaKate, but the last couple weeks have been filled with so many firsts.

It seems like in the last week + she has become her own little person. Our two front teeth have officially cut through, we are crawling, and we say dada to our daddy, and something that sounds like bubba to our brothers.

She also just looks bigger, like she overnight shot up a couple of inches.

Not to mention her personality is bursting forth. She laughs, oh how she laughs! She has a wonderful laugh that she uses quite liberally on all of her favorite people. She loves to play games, especially peek a boo, or daddies silly version of it. She tries to grab the spoon from me when I am feeding her, and yells at me to feed her, especially MY food. The girl is so ready for big girl food. She laughs at me when I tell her no.

This girl of ours is a constant reminder of God's mercy and blessing in our lives and she has bewitched us all with her soft sweetness.

8 months

I feel like we have had a lot of firsts this month! So here is the rundown:

• Her personality is really coming out. She laughs a lot, and she laughs when you tell her no...like she knows exactly what she's doing
• She waves hi and bye
• Not only does she wave but she does it just with us telling her to "say hi" no motions included. By verbal command.
• She says "dada" to him. Not regularly or all the time, you can tell she's still figuring it out, but she says it.
• She only says "mama" now when she cries.
• She had her first major sickness (just a bad cold) which resulted in her first
• Double ear infection, which she handled like a champ
• Has started eating actual solids. Puffs, cheerios, cooked peas. The girl is ready for more serious food. She is constantly trying to grab mine out of my mouth!
• She loves swinging at the park and laughs when she is pushed higher
• She's started having separation anxiety at church. If you give her food she usually calms down. Eventually. It's one of the only times I've seen her cry that hard.
• She adores her brothers and squeals with delight at them and rolls over to play with them.
• She still loves to just roll around the floor.
• Her favorite toy is a rattle
• She loves her daddy. It's been really sweet to watch them the last month as they've gotten really close. She gets so excited when he comes home.

I think that's the gist of it. This is such a fun age. She's very interactive and happy. It is getting a bit harder to go out with her since she always wants to be moving, or eating, which makes it quite hard for me to eat. But it's a small setback compared to how much fun she is the rest of the time! Love that baby girl so much!!!

Boys

Here is a glimpse of where the boys are at since they are less frequently updated on.

Josh: He is getting ready to play in his second baseball tournament of where his team is ranked first. He's been playing great, getting outs, catching the ball, covering the bases, backing people up, and he hit at least a single off coach pitch every single time he's up to bat.

School is still hit and miss. While he's really smart, he gets bored easily and tries to skate by when he can instead of doing his best. He will have a great week and then turn around and have a really bad week behavior wise. We can't seem to figure out what makes the difference other than he likes things very structured and it throws him off when that is out of whack. We are just trying to stay consistent.

He is very witty, which in general is a good thing, but when it comes to snippy come backs to his mom, dad or brother...not so good. When he's not using it in a derogatory way he is hilarious.

The kid is friends with EVERYONE. Everywhere we go he always knows someone or is friend with someone before we leave. I love his outgoing and friendly nature.

He is so sweet and gentle with his sister. He is always telling her how pretty she is, saying hi to her and playing with her when she gets up from naps and when he gets home. He is very patient and loving with her. I pray that someday he will treat his wife in some of the same ways.

Jack: It's been interesting to watch him change in the last month or so since starting preschool. While he still has more shy tendencies, he is getting bolder and bolder. Especially when I'm not around. He has lots of friends at school and even has almost gotten in to trouble at school.

He is very active right now, often literally running laps inside the house or jumping off the furniture doing "back flips". He is very ready to play baseball like his big brother but not quite old enough. However he loves to hang out with the big baseball boys and will often stand by the dugout and chat with his brother or sit by him during snack.

Jack is sweet and kind and funny. Both the boys inherited their fathers sense of humor. Jack is very aware of other peoples feelings and wants to try to help whenever possible. He is super sweet to his sister as well. He calls her EvaKatie buggie.

Their favorite thing to do right now is to go to our favorite park and take the walking trail. From there they love to go in the forest and find sticks to be guns, light savers, or swords....depending on if they are army guys, Jedi's, or kings of Narnia. I love their imaginations and how they are already natural warriors, wanting to protect and defeat the bad guys.

They are crazy, busy, messy, destructive and wild. But I love those boys. And I love that they will either outgrow those things or those attributes are what will make them great men of God. So I'm trying to enjoy seeing fingerprints all over my white doors and enjoy the reminder of their presence instead of getting frustrated I have something else to clean.