6 months

Well not only have we been a bit pre-occupied with funerals and traveling arrangements, I've been delaying writing this. I just don't want to have to think about the fact that her first year is already halfway over. It goes by way too fast. Thankfully she's started doing some ridiculously cute things to make it a little easier. So here is where she's at:

• She is just under 26 inches and is 53% in height
• Only 41% in her head circumference. Still shocking to me after the boys averaging 90% each visit
• 14 pounds and 3 oz, putting her in the 15% of weight. Apparently her activeness and my healthy eating attempts is not lending itself to cute baby rolls.
• She will say "mama" and "dada" not necessarily to us, just babbling. But she says it none the less. And we affirm it like crazy!
• She can get anything she wants. Between rolling everywhere and being able to turn herself in circles she's pretty much fully mobile. Thankfully she's pretty chill so doesn't go after every little thing on the floor. Never the less the legos are about to be banned to the boys bedroom.
• She can sit up. Not very steady and will still forget what she's doing and just leans back, but with a boppy she's good. She gets bored with it though because her aforementioned mobility is much more rewarding than sitting.
• One of my favorite things she does is wrap her arms around me when I pick her up and kind of bury her face into my hair and neck. It's her version of snuggling I think.
• Nursing is interesting these days because she wants to check out everything that is going on. And she forgets the food is not portable, despite her attempts at making it so.
• She loves food and will eat the equivalent of two baby food jars at each feeding and she's eating solids twice a day. That 4 jars of baby food in one day. Good thing I can make that stuff myself. And our grocery store runs really good specials on it. ($.41 per jar of organic baby food! I can't make it for that!)
• She refuses anything green unless it's mixed with fruit. No matter how hungry she is.
• She's so easy going and has slid right into the hectic school schedule. She'll even let me get her up and put her in the car in the morning without feeding her until we get back home! She also naps just about whenever.
• She grabs everything. If I'm holding her at dinner I have to hold her an arms length away or else she knows to grab the placemat the pull the food and drink towards her. She also will grab my earrings and hair but somehow seems to know to be gentle with both.
• She grins when daddy comes home.
• She "talks" to you when you're talking to her.
• She adores her brothers and laughs for them
• She loves baths and kick like crazy usually covering me and the rest of the bathroom
• Some nights she tries to stay awake a little longer just to get some time with mommy and daddy just by herself (which we are typically thrilled to indulge). Even if I just lay her in her crib wide awake though she'll just fall asleep on her own, not a peep.
• She got shots today, (I know, I changed my mind, mainly because our doc is so incredible, it's hard work being a parent and making tough decision. No ones got it all right or figured out.) the boys both would always look at me with the "why did you do this to me" look and then scream at me. She barely cried, and it wasn't screaming. Not much of a look either. She's SO good.

So that's where we're at. I'm sure at some point in her life it will be evident to me that she is a sinful imperfect being just like all of us. However right now she still just seems so perfect. I would be thrilled to do nothing more in a day than just play and snuggle with her. I'm excited about getting some more of that when Jack starts school soon. It's hard to get much of that time with the boys around. She's the most easy going so she's usually the one who gets the least attention. Those crazy boys!

I was remembering the other day what we went through getting pregnant with her and how much she was prayed for and over in my belly. She is such a gift and blessing and I am so grateful for my little princess!

Tough Stuff

My poor daughter. So much of the first year of her life and her milestones are intertwined with bad news, death and mourning.

EvaKate is 6 months old today. And the post for that will have to wait until another day.

Today is a hard day. We've gotten news that Chris's grandpa (Arnold's dad) has been sent home given a couple days to live at best.

There has just been way too much death.

Josh got sent home with a project where he has to include 5-7 items that create strong memories for him. Between this and cleaning out a closet I have had several reminders of the loss our families have encountered in the last year and a half.

A picture of my grandpa looking all dapper in his pink tie at our wedding, a card for Josh's 1st birthday from Nancy calling him her "Joshy Buddy Rascal", a container of English bath soaps my grandma always had in her bathrooms that she had given me...it's just all been a lot.

One of the hardest parts was having Josh pick out things that induce strong memories (mainly pictures) and him including one of Nancy's funeral. I hate that my kid strongly remembers death and loss at age 6. How do you help a 6 year old process grief when you are still so new to it yourself?

Our family could use some prayer. We could use a bit of an emotional break, and some joy. More than anything though we need the Lord's presence and the peace, comfort and wisdom only He can bestow.

Mama

Well it's official, EvaKate said her first word today! And after two boys who both said dada first, I am very proud to announce that my daughters first word was mama.

Mind you she usually only does it when she's fussing, and I'm not sure she connects that it's me she's calling just yet (although she does seem to associate it with me) she has said it, repeatedly. Throughout the day. So. it. counts.

I took a meal (putting it lightly, having been a first time mom and enjoying cooking I usually bring more like a meal, a couple lunches, breakfast and snack...it's one of the ways I serve) to a friend today who is doing mommyhood for the first time. That and a post I saw about what you would tell your pregnant self had me thinking a bit...what advice would I give?

Where to begin would be the better question. At 21 I barely knew myself let alone how to be responsible for another human being. I was the first of my friends by at least 3 years to have kids as well. No one, and I mean no one on my radar had children in the past 20 years, or ever. Even then the internet was not like what it is now where I would have had some sort of online information source on how to do it all.

I remember one of my best friends moms (who is one of the wisest women I know and adore, and wish I could be mentored by except for that whole other state business) telling me life would never be the same. I remember getting in the car after hearing that and telling Chris I didn't think that was true and I didn't want parenthood to totally change us and who we are. Someone should have smacked that proud naive girl upside the head.

All that said, I think I would have told myself that it will be the hardest most selfless thing you will ever do. But it is so worth it. Sometimes you won't think so, you'll feel like you're failing and you can't do it. You can't. Not without God. And some days will be survived by his grace alone. And it does take a village, at least one supporting you in the most difficult job ever. Find a village, and plug in. You need people, who have been there, who are there, who can tell you you'll make it, and so will your child, someone who you can escape with for a few hours. Before you know it the days of exhaustion will diminish and you'll see then end in sight. And then you will want it all back. Drink it in. Take lots of mental pictures. Snuggle every chance you get. Say yes more than you say no, or wait a minute. Because motherhood is the hardest most selfless thing you will ever have to do. You love something with all of your being, pour all of your thoughts, focus and energy into growing something and then you have to let it go. Did I mention you needed God?

That's what I would say. And why I'm extra sentimental about that sweet gummy mouth being able to say "mama" today and even more excited that I'm the one she's talking to.

First Grade

Well this past week has been our last week of summer.

As typical it's bittersweet. I'll be honest...I am so. ready. for him to go back to school. The talkback, bickering and attitude has been at an all time high. If I didn't know any better I'd say I was living with a teenager!

That said, I know as soon as he goes back I'm going to miss him. Especially once baseball starts, it seems like we get a lot less time together as a family.

We've done a bunch of fun stuff this week (on top of school supply and clothes shopping) getting ready for the return to school. We've been to the library twice, had a play date in the sprinkler with his best friend, a play date at the pool and lunch with other friends, a lunch date with daddy and some fun treats. This weekend we're hoping to make it to Chuck E. Cheese and take the boys to a movie (since the forecast has rain in it, bummer- we were hoping to go to a water park).

On top of all of that we've been brushing up on our knowledge from last year. We went over the kindergarten and first grade Dolch site words, of which he gets 90% right on the first time. Which I think is awesome. The ones he usually stumbles on are could, know, and who. All very tricky. Dumb English language. We've been working on our writing and reading as well.

Sadly it took us the end of summer to get to the library but the boys love picking out the new books. First we hit the army section, then the animals (usually sharks, wolves and other predator books are the priority), then the educational beginner reader books and then the random fun ones. It's funny they know right where to go first.

Jack doesn't start until after Labor Day, and while he's disappointed to not be getting a new back pack yet or know who his teacher is, I'm looking forward to getting some extra hang out time with him and I before he goes back. It's amazing how different he is without Josh around. And he hasn't gotten much time with just me since EvaKate came so I'm looking forward to getting to dote on him some like I did Josh this week.

We met his teacher this past week and she was nice. She has a 6 year old boy so she gets boys and it's always helpful when they can talk the "lingo". You know, bombs, guns, superheros and the like. I think what made us so excited about his new class is when we were checking his class list we bumped into his kindergarten teacher (who was great!) and she said if she could have picked classes for the kids, she would have chosen this teacher for Josh. That was enough for me to hear. Especially since she's more of an expert on my sons learning style after spending a year with him around his peers than I am.

It will be an interesting school year. We'll have two boys in school, we will be more familiar with the schedule routine and expectations, and Lord willing we won't be having any major deaths and for sure no births! I'm looking forward to being able to be more involved in the classes, and a bit more time when they get home to be more focused on homework and quality time. We'll see though, there is always the unexpected! Excited to get things started!